Dear Trader Joe's:
It's not every day that I share my feelings, but I had to write to tell you how, like, totally awesome I think you are. For years, I looked longingly at pictures on your website in the hope that one day you would come to Miami. And then I heard the news — you'd be heading right to my neighborhood. Finally, I could walk your aisles and take in all of your colorful yumminess. At long last, I could taste the sweet, sweet nectar of your cookie butter, drink in your Two-Buck Chuck, feel your ripe produce, and inhale the scent of your fresh floral bouquets. I thought that maybe all of this was too good to be true, that maybe you were too cheap for me. But then you gave me a lei on opening day, and your thoughtfulness sealed the deal. You kept luring me back with your cranberry goat cheese and witty packaging. And I know our love is mutual. How else can you explain your generous gift of complimentary coffee every time I see you? Or the fact that you offer me non-genetically modified products? I'm letting you know I broke up with Publix. Now I can spend all of my time with you. Chill a few bottles of that $2.99 Pinot Grigio I adore. I'll be over around 6.