BEST RESTAURANT FOR GLUTTONS Texas de Brazil Churrascaria
11401 NW Twelfth Street
www.texasdebrazil.com Everything about this churrascaria is grand in size. Cylindrical walls the color of bloody red meat rise to such lofty heights that an elevator brings patrons up and down. The 450 seats surround a salad bar in the room's center, with a gargantuan floral spray that nearly stretches to the second level. And there is such an insane amount of comestibles on display that even the most gluttonous of gluttons must occasionally flip the green marker (bring 'em on!) to red (hold your horses!). The marker move stops roaming gauchos, who carry long skewers of fourteen types of meat, from swarming your table and cutting slabs from their carnivorous load and piling them upon your plate as if it were still the Fifties. For a set fee of $39.99, diners get to indulge in all the mesquite-smoked picanha (top of the top sirloin), pork loin, leg and rack of lamb, filet mignon, flank steak, beef and pork ribs, sausages, and chicken they want, along with garlic mashed potatoes, sweet fried plantains, a 40-item salad bar with a number of surprisingly upscale ingredients (and also soup, rice, beans, and other hot foods), and warm boules of rich Brazilian cheese bread. Huge wine list, too, and lavishly portioned desserts that are supplemental to the dinner menu. If, after partaking of all the above meats and sides, you decide to go for a bananas Foster pie or caramel cheesecake, we applaud your resolve. We also think it might be personally beneficial if you stand up in the middle of the room and proclaim, "My name is (say your full name), and I am a glutton." Acknowledgment is paramount for starting on the road to recovery.