BEST PARKING ON SOUTH BEACH Bay Road between Thirteenth and Sixteenth streets After a couple of years of major construction, including the Waverly and Flamingo condominium projects, this stretch of road has emerged from the Dumpsters and bulldozers as blessedly unregulated. No parking meters in sight. No residential permits required. (It can't possibly remain this way forever.) The location is convenient -- only a couple of blocks from the west end of Lincoln Road. If you're clubbing on Washington Avenue, park here and cab it over. The spaces are not unlimited, so check early and frequently.

BEST TOUR Redland Riot 305-443-7973

www.redlandriot.com Sunday morning. Rapidly approaching afternoon. Check list. Grind sticky green; twist Chonger for road. Print booklet from Website, crank up music, head down for Redland Riot. Cruise through area's fruity, tropical history in purple haze -- past quaint, funky Cauley Square. Hold joint low when rolling through downtown Homestead. Turn tunes up louder; sing joyfully. Visit Knaus Berry Farm; feast on delicious, oven-fresh, sticky-sweet buns. Profusely thank German Baptist farmers -- praise their heavenly munchables. Stop, stretch, stock up on fruit jelly and fresh veggies at Burr's Berry Farm. Satisfy ganja-related dry mouth at Robert Is Here. Stare goofily at animals while slurping fresh-fruit milkshake. E-mail friends about bus being spacious and comfortable. No loud, rickety airboats. No shady tour guides grasping; no money-grubbing at all. Just sweet relaxation. Down-home treats. Amazing key lime milkshake. A clear view of the glory found in South Miami-Dade. From list check off having blast.

BEST LOCAL BOY GONE BAD Bill Kamal The elegantly dressed and apparently bionic weatherman for WSVN-TV (Channel 7) seemed never to sleep during the 2004 hurricane season, so devoted was he to projecting the speed and movements of Danielle, Frances, Ivan, and Jeanne. But the darkest storm was yet to come. Sunday, October 24, he put on shorts, flip-flops, and a sleeveless shirt and then drove his Jaguar to Port St. Lucie to meet a fourteen-year-old lad he'd met via an Internet chatroom. Using a pseudonym, Bill had told his prospective teen date he was looking for "a son" to have sex with. But the forecast that day would not be "sonny." When Kamal arrived at the rendezvous site, there was no kid, just some good ol' boys from the St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office. Talk about a tropical depression. The ex-weatherman pleaded guilty and was sentenced this past February to five years in prison (plus probation for the rest of his life) for Internet enticement of a minor for sex.

BEST POET Will "Da Real One" Bell www.willdarealone.com Will "Da Real One" Bell represents the new poetry. He spits words like high-caliber machine-gun fire, and his booming voice sets ears ablaze. He snarls ferocious truth about the things he's seen -- heartbreak and pain, crime and punishment, struggle and poverty. Much of his work is inspired by his hardscrabble Liberty City childhood. His parents still live there, but Will has moved away. "I got tired of coming home and all my stuff was missing," he explains. Now he makes his home in Miami Shores, but "I be keepin' it real for where I am," he stresses. Indeed Will Bell has followed an unusual path to poetry stardom. He discovered his talent while he was a county inmate, serving fourteen months for trafficking cocaine. "It wasn't even the money for me -- it was the lifestyle," he says. "Fast money, money all the time, money every day. You can afford to be very spontaneous when you're raking in four, five grand a day. I wasn't like no Colombian drug lord, but that ain't nothing to sneeze at," he says. "I had a chance to look at who I was when I was incarcerated, which made me make different decisions as a human being when I was released." In 2001 he emerged as Will Da Real One and proceeded to blaze a trail to the top of the local spoken-word scene. Bell was invited to perform on Russell Simmons's HBO program Def Poetry Jam. This past February, he filmed his second appearance on the show. "I've been doing some volunteer work with the Department of Corrections, and I'm trying to introduce poetry workshops in the county jail system." He also co-owns a small coffee shop in North Miami called The Literary Café. "I just got a knack for reaching people," Bell says. "I got a message that I'm trying to distribute, a piece of myself I'm trying to share."

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD NEWSPAPER Biscayne Boulevard Times www.biscayneboulevard.com Development is rapidly altering the landscape of the Biscayne Boulevard corridor in ways both good and not so good. Residents in this area, roughly from downtown Miami to 79th Street, keep track of the changes not through the Miami Herald but through this small, scrappy monthly newspaper that comprehensively tackles nearly every neighborhood issue, from big-picture to the picayune. Helmed by long-time resident and sometime art gallery owner Skip Van Cel, the BBT's tiny staff (supplemented by articles and columns from activists and business owners) cranks out dozens of pieces each month, intense coverage for a fairly small area. Art exhibits, landlord-tenant disputes, new businesses, city politics, development, crime -- it's all there.

BEST PLACE TO THROW A PARTY The former building of La Moderna Poesia 5246 SW Eighth Street

Coral Gables Here's a little real-estate advice for any savvy entrepreneur with some green to spread around. Miami Beach is too expensive, and everyone knows downtown is riddled with cranes and dump trucks working away at creating a metropolis for the millennium. But where is that diamond in the rough? The undeveloped area waiting to explode with profit and booze is on the outskirts of the Gables, not far from Little Havana. The vacant building that once housed La Moderna Poesia is just the right size and only blocks away from DJ Le Spam's weekly gig, which is always packed. The Suenalo Sound System commune is right around the corner, as are many of the group's fans. A creative person just might be able to revitalize the area into the new hot hang. Don't be turned off by the demise of the previous tenants. Much of Miami doesn't like to read, let alone in Spanish. Much of Miami does, however, love to party.

BEST FESTIVAL Ultra Music Festival Bayfront Park

301 Biscayne Boulevard

Miami We're sure Russell Faibisch and Alex Omes, the perpetrators behind all things Ultra, would love to hear that their little bash by Biscayne Bay is awesome because of the music lineup -- which is in fact awesome. We're sure the City of Miami would like to hear that Ultra is bomshizzle because it brings people of all races and all ages together under one continuous melodious house beat, which it in fact does. But really, folks, we're not gonna kid around here. Ultra is the absolute best festival because it inspires such an uninhibited, gluttonous consumption of recreational drugs. Imagine the extreme pleasures of smoking blunts, snorting coke and special K, and popping Ecstasy pills of every hue in the rainbow -- from noon until well past midnight.

Readers´ Choice: Miami Improv Festival and Coconut Grove Arts Festival (tie)

BEST MUSEUM Miami Children's Museum 980 MacArthur Causeway

Miami

305-373-5437

www.miamichildrensmuseum.org Finally housed in a permanent location, the Miami Children's Museum has been able to turn its attention to developing a world-class educational playground for youngsters. Permanent and temporary exhibits, day camps, and classes are the main draws, but there is also an intriguing film program for budding auteurs that is perhaps the crown jewel (and boasts its own festival). Some parents have complained about the excessive branding from corporate sponsorship. That just sets up the opportunity to teach the little ones an important lesson about tuning out intrusions.

BEST CAR WASH South Beach Finest Hand Car Wash 1229 Eighteenth Street

Miami Beach

305-604-9282 Do you feel dirty? I mean really dirty? Then you need to have some fine young men and women scrub you down from top to bottom, inside and out, including your tires. With no monstrous machines to smack you around and bend your antenna, you'll be rubbed and caressed until you shine like the day you rolled off the lot. While you enjoy your day at the spa, your owners can relax in the air-conditioned lounge or keep an eye on you from the outdoor patio. A detail wash will set them back only $14 ($17 for SUVs and $20 for trucks and vans), so there will be extra cash to fill you up with the good gas. Do you have a lady driving you around? Tell her Wednesdays are her days to receive a twenty percent discount -- maybe she'll spring for the (regularly priced) $35 wax job.

Readers´ Choice: Busy Bee Car Wash

BEST PERIODIQUITO The Miami Post The periodiquito publishing community is Miami-Dade County's guerrilla propaganda machine. These little community newspapers serve a singular purpose: putting forth the political agendas of their publishers. However, the Miami Post, assembled by one Luis Tornes, an esteemed editor who in the 21st Century can be contacted only via a P.O. box, has an agenda that seems to fall right in the middle of partisan politics. Tornes has no qualms about pasting unflattering articles about George W. Bush and Fidel Castro side-by-side, above the fold, on the front page of his monthly rag. The best part of the Post is its version of "Page Six," aptly titled "Cortaditos de Mafialandia," a full page of gossip about Miami's civic leaders. In the March edition, the Post speculated about the true reason behind Alberto Ibargüen's departure from the Miami Herald Publishing Co. In the column, Post reporter "Mr. Colada" tells his readers that Ibargüen was forced out by Knight Ridder honchos because the Miami Herald had become a journalistic laughingstock compared to other major newspapers across the nation. You can find the latest edition of the Miami Post at your nearest bakery on Calle Ocho or in the downtown offices of the county commission.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®