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BEST MARTINI

Rose Bar

A librarian walks into a bar. She is looking for the best martini and an even better man. Sexy and sophisticated is the way she wants her martini and her mate. She scans the bar and finds an empty seat next to a handsome gentleman. They smile and the young bartender asks what she'd like. A girl likes an attentive bartender who won't keep her waiting and gives her three olives without even asking, and the Rose Bar delivers. They take the time to make a pristine martini that is cold, smooth, and with not a drop too much vermouth. She touches pinkies with the handsome gentleman as they reach for their martinis: hers a vodka (Grey Goose, $14) and his a traditional (Bombay Gin, $12). Did he call her a heathen? Doesn't he know James Bond drinks vodka martinis? Bond would commend the Rose Bar for a martini shaken to perfection and a little cloudy with tiny bubbles. She tells him that shaking increases the antioxidant activity in the drink, which can reduce the risk of cataracts, strokes, and cardiovascular diseases. He is impressed with her mad librarian skills and forgives her for not drinking a real martini. Elegant lighting, glamorous clientele, and scintillating conversation with a handsome fellow makes the night a delicious chapter in the sexy librarian's novel.

BEST BIKER BAR

Nite Cap Lounge

The bikers started showing up at the Nite Cap six or seven years ago. That's when bartender Biker Joe arrived looking for work. Biker Joe's friends -- leather-vested, hog-riding, heavy-gutted -- soon crowded the place, feeling right at home with the big American flag out front, the old veterans drinking inside, the 6:30 a.m. to 2:00 a.m. hours of operation (except Sundays, when opening time is 1:00 p.m.). The $1.50 draft beers didn't hurt. So far it has been a happy union. "Oh, we treat 'em real good," says Cookie McAlpine, a sprightly 66-year-old who, along with her since-deceased husband, bought the bar thirteen years ago. "We throw parties and stuff for them. If it's a real biker party, we put out a sign that says öBikers Only.' And we reserve the parking lot for bikes." Not to be missed is the Nite Cap's customized ceiling. For $35 an artist will paint something of your choice on a ceiling tile. Examples include: "David & Rona Together Forever"; "Stay Drunk, Avoid Hangovers"; and "In Memory of Shaggy Bob."

BEST BIKER BAR

Nite Cap Lounge

The bikers started showing up at the Nite Cap six or seven years ago. That's when bartender Biker Joe arrived looking for work. Biker Joe's friends -- leather-vested, hog-riding, heavy-gutted -- soon crowded the place, feeling right at home with the big American flag out front, the old veterans drinking inside, the 6:30 a.m. to 2:00 a.m. hours of operation (except Sundays, when opening time is 1:00 p.m.). The $1.50 draft beers didn't hurt. So far it has been a happy union. "Oh, we treat 'em real good," says Cookie McAlpine, a sprightly 66-year-old who, along with her since-deceased husband, bought the bar thirteen years ago. "We throw parties and stuff for them. If it's a real biker party, we put out a sign that says öBikers Only.' And we reserve the parking lot for bikes." Not to be missed is the Nite Cap's customized ceiling. For $35 an artist will paint something of your choice on a ceiling tile. Examples include: "David & Rona Together Forever"; "Stay Drunk, Avoid Hangovers"; and "In Memory of Shaggy Bob."

BEST HAPPY HOUR

JohnMartin's Irish Pub & Restaurant

To-do list:

Monday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop the kids off at day care. 7:30: Hit the gym. 8:00: Shower and change into work clothes. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic on I-95. 9:00: Big meeting. 10:00: Get yelled at by boss. 11:00: Woo clients. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with lawyers. 4:00: Dentist appointment. 5:30: Pick up the kids. 6:30: Prep dinner. 7:30: Balance checkbook.

Tuesday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop kids at day care. 7:30: Gym. 8:00: Shower and change. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic on 836. 9:00: Cold-call clients. 10:00: Yell back at boss. 11:00: Board meeting. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with more lawyers. 4:00: Doctor appointment. 5:30: Pick up kids. 6:30: Dinner.

Wednesday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop the kids off. 7:30: Gym. 8:00: Shower, change. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic. 9:00: Paperwork. 10:00: Get yelled at by boss again. 11:00: Woo more clients. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with lawyers. 4:00: Deposit money in the bank. 5:30: Pick up kids. 6:30: Prep dinner.

Thursday: 7:00 - 10:00 a.m.: The usual. 10:00: Threaten to quit. 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.: Same old same old. 3:00: Meet with bankers. 5:30: Kids. 6:30: Dinner.

Friday: 7:00 - 11:00 a.m.: Same-a same-a: 11:00: Negotiate raise. 4:00 p.m.: Refill Viagra script. 5:00: JohnMartin's happy hour.

Saturday: Recover from hangover.

Sunday: Recover from hangover.

BEST HAPPY HOUR

JohnMartin's Irish Pub & Restaurant

To-do list:

Monday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop the kids off at day care. 7:30: Hit the gym. 8:00: Shower and change into work clothes. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic on I-95. 9:00: Big meeting. 10:00: Get yelled at by boss. 11:00: Woo clients. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with lawyers. 4:00: Dentist appointment. 5:30: Pick up the kids. 6:30: Prep dinner. 7:30: Balance checkbook.

Tuesday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop kids at day care. 7:30: Gym. 8:00: Shower and change. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic on 836. 9:00: Cold-call clients. 10:00: Yell back at boss. 11:00: Board meeting. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with more lawyers. 4:00: Doctor appointment. 5:30: Pick up kids. 6:30: Dinner.

Wednesday: 7:00 a.m.: Drop the kids off. 7:30: Gym. 8:00: Shower, change. 8:30: Read the paper while stuck in traffic. 9:00: Paperwork. 10:00: Get yelled at by boss again. 11:00: Woo more clients. Noon: Lunch meeting. 1:00 p.m.: Organize reports. 3:00: Meet with lawyers. 4:00: Deposit money in the bank. 5:30: Pick up kids. 6:30: Prep dinner.

Thursday: 7:00 - 10:00 a.m.: The usual. 10:00: Threaten to quit. 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.: Same old same old. 3:00: Meet with bankers. 5:30: Kids. 6:30: Dinner.

Friday: 7:00 - 11:00 a.m.: Same-a same-a: 11:00: Negotiate raise. 4:00 p.m.: Refill Viagra script. 5:00: JohnMartin's happy hour.

Saturday: Recover from hangover.

Sunday: Recover from hangover.

BEST BAR TO MODEL WATCH

Astor Hotel on Tuesday nights

It's not easy being young and beautiful in South Beach during the season. With a dozen modeling agencies plugging their girls and guys, the competition for those lucrative posing jobs can be intense. Luckily people like promoter Tommy Pooch and places like the Metro Kitchen & Bar at the Astor aim to make the lives of the flawless-skin set a little easier. Tuesday night's hip-hop dinner party, now entering its second year, draws models from Wilhelmina, Next, Elite, and other agencies in packs, all of them eager to brush up against celebrities like Colin Farrell and Ashton Kutcher for that potential career bump. And Pooch makes sure the girls stick around. "We always take care of the models," he says. The result is a bounty of beauty. The good-looking may not look at you, but hey, it's still fun to look at them.

BEST BAR TO MODEL WATCH

Astor Hotel on Tuesday nights

It's not easy being young and beautiful in South Beach during the season. With a dozen modeling agencies plugging their girls and guys, the competition for those lucrative posing jobs can be intense. Luckily people like promoter Tommy Pooch and places like the Metro Kitchen & Bar at the Astor aim to make the lives of the flawless-skin set a little easier. Tuesday night's hip-hop dinner party, now entering its second year, draws models from Wilhelmina, Next, Elite, and other agencies in packs, all of them eager to brush up against celebrities like Colin Farrell and Ashton Kutcher for that potential career bump. And Pooch makes sure the girls stick around. "We always take care of the models," he says. The result is a bounty of beauty. The good-looking may not look at you, but hey, it's still fun to look at them.

BEST PLACE TO PLAY PINBALL

Bird Bowl

Pinball is a nostalgic arcade game, one that really can't be fully appreciated by those who grew up in the age of Atari or beyond. It is therefore best played in an atmosphere that doesn't boast virtual reality goggles and video games that require the hand-eye coordination of a fighter pilot. Leave the PlayStation generation to duke it out over Halo at Gameworks, because playing pinball in a three-story coliseum of sensory and technology overload is like ordering mashed potatoes at Nobu and expecting them to taste like Mom's. When it comes to intense flipper action, Westchester institution Bird Bowl keeps it real. Those who come to spend their hard-earned quarters will usually skip the bowling and head directly to the bing-bing of the arcade, which boasts classic video games, air hockey, and, of course, the only arcade machine ever to spawn a rock opera.

BEST PLACE TO PLAY PINBALL

Bird Bowl

Pinball is a nostalgic arcade game, one that really can't be fully appreciated by those who grew up in the age of Atari or beyond. It is therefore best played in an atmosphere that doesn't boast virtual reality goggles and video games that require the hand-eye coordination of a fighter pilot. Leave the PlayStation generation to duke it out over Halo at Gameworks, because playing pinball in a three-story coliseum of sensory and technology overload is like ordering mashed potatoes at Nobu and expecting them to taste like Mom's. When it comes to intense flipper action, Westchester institution Bird Bowl keeps it real. Those who come to spend their hard-earned quarters will usually skip the bowling and head directly to the bing-bing of the arcade, which boasts classic video games, air hockey, and, of course, the only arcade machine ever to spawn a rock opera.

BEST REGGAE CLUB

Big Fish

Alas, the era of the reggae club is over. Even though Miami certainly has a large enough Caribbean population to support a club entirely devoted to island music, few establishments want to put all of their eggs in that particular basket. For those craving the dancehall vibe, it's all about hot reggae nights at unexpected, and in some cases hard-to-find, locations. Case in point, Big Fish. "We wanted to create something that was as close to being back in the islands as possible. Literally the first flyer we did was a half page, and the whole back of it was directions," laughs Kevin Palmer, the director of events for the crew that puts these randomly scheduled Caribbean fetes, called Blink, together. The idea has grown so large that it has been exported to the land that inspired it. "We've taken it to Jamaica, and it's one of the biggest parties there. A lot of people travel back and forth for the parties," Palmer says. Blink has earned this dedicated following by changing themes for every party. Blink All White called for uniformly pale attire; Blink Pimps & Hoes brought crazy costumes out of the closet; and Blink Colors's attendees were asked to sport the Rasta colors of red, green, and gold. Every second Saturday of each month, Big Phat Fish at Big Fish delivers the latest in reggae and soca. Named after calypso superstar Machel Montano's hit song, this party is like Blink's younger Trinidadian cousin.

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