All of the stars of the Republican Party are coming to Tampa for the Republican National Convention, with the exception of former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, who's still a bit of a sore spot for the GOP. But don't worry, because Tampa will be hosting the next best thing: Sarah Palin's porn doppelganger Lisa Ann.
Lisa will be stimulating the nation's economy (if you catch our drift) throughout the convention. But why stop there? There are plenty of other porn stars with political ties, not even counting members of the Italian Parliament! We say invite a whole slew of porn stars to ring in Mitt Romney's ascension.
Remember the California Gubernatorial recall
election of 2003? Think hard; it was way back when electing Arnold Schwarzenegger to political office seemed like a
far fetched joke, before we warmed up to it and it began to feel totally natural to let the star of Junior run one of the world's largest economies. Porn actress Mary Carey also ran for Governor during that race, on a platform of
taxing breast implants and implementing a "porn for guns" program. She placed
10th, later appearing on VH1's Celebrity Rehab, which is still a more
dignified post-politics career move than becoming a lobbyist.
Mimi Miyagi
Inspired by Mary Carey's populist run, Filipina
porn queen and creator of men's magazine Oriental Dolls (later renamed Asian
Hotties) had an inspiring run for Nevada Governorship in 2006. Despite her killer motto — "I'm bare and honest at all times" — she wound up losing in the
Republican primary. She later
endorsed Rudy Giuliani, a humble, devoted family man who was surely deeply
embarrassed to be tied to such a woman.
Stormy Daniels
After becoming enamored with the party of
Lincoln at a RNC fundraising event held at a Los Angeles lesbian bondage nightclub,
Ms. Daniels considered running for Republican Senator David Vitter's seat in
2010. (Before we continue this story, please take a moment to imagine Mitt Romney saying the words, "RNC fundraising event at a Los Angeles lesbian bondage nightclub." You're welcome.)
Daniels later announced that she would not be running for the Senate, complaining that the
media portrayed her candidacy as a joke, which seems especially cruel now, after the media took Herman Cain's candidacy seriously. Herman Cain, people.
Amber Peach
Amber Peach, who undoubtedly got her stage name
from her peachy disposition and not any part of her body, wrote a Huffington
Post article questioning whether Obamacare would be good for those in the porn
industry. We would summarize the article, but we only made it four lines in
before we decided to peruse Ms. Peach's filmography instead. To be fair, though, we turn to porn about four lines into any story on Huffington Post.
Ginger Lee
It's been one year since Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner was caught sending nude pictures to women who weren't his wife. One
woman was former porn star Ginger Lee, who claimed she initially reached out to
Weiner on Twitter due to his support of Planned Parenthood. Lee would later
call for his resignation. Ironically, Anthony Weiner was one of Congress' staunchest women's rights advocates, and almost certainly would have created opposition to
the GOP's war to cut funding to Planned Parenthood. But his last name was Weiner
and he sent pictures of his wiener to girls, so that's all anyone will remember about him for the rest of his life.
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