Vice City Pillow Talk: Why Are Some Miami Singles Opting Out of Dating?

We've long debated in this column whether Miami is indeed the worst place in the country for singles. It's hot (in every sense of the word), it's transient, and sometimes it feels like love is only out there for gorgeous Instagram personalities who date handsome NFL players (sadly, we can't all be Alix and Braxton).

It's no surprise, then, that many locals are choosing to stay on their solo missions. These fed-up souls aren't looking for dating advice, they aren't trying to "see what's out there," and they don't want to be set up with your best friend's rich cousin. Although this is far from a Miami-specific trend (some studies suggest nearly half of all singles nationwide are in no mood for Tinder swipes or awkward first dates), unpartnered people in the Magic City have their unique reasons for choosing the single rider lane.

I asked local singles to share their reasons for opting out of looking for love, and their responses were as interesting, funny, and varied as this city's diverse tapestry of people. Many of them lamented our dating pool (or cesspool, as some might call it), saying things like, "not settling for a crypto bro," "they're all cheap or cheaters," or "because the women are more ruthless than the men down here." The latter begs the question: Does this person think it's okay for men to be ruthless? Either way, the point was made (ineloquently or not) that there's a stereotype about Miami singles being difficult dates. I'd argue this problem probably exists everywhere, just with smaller BBLs and less hair gel.

Some respondents were deeply introspective about their reasons for shunning a plus one. "After a lot of sad life occurrences and traumas, it's taken me so long to love myself," said one single. Another said their life was "less chaotic," without a mate.

Others were more practical. "I've got a kid to take care of and a book to write," said one busy local. "I don't have time to be a decent boyfriend."

And of course, plenty were just...over it. "No lies to decipher," said one single. "No waiting on responses after speaking for two weeks, then poof. No, no, no."

Others echoed similar sentiments: "I think we women, as a whole, are just over it. We know what we know now. No more." Another added: "Men with real values are like unicorns. Cute idea, but rare and imaginary."

It can be tempting to fall into that mindset after a series of bad relationships (or even one absolute doozy), but it's important to remember that divisive rhetoric like that can perpetuate an already painful loneliness epidemic.

Some locals told me they found the singles scene full of "emotionally unavailable" daters and preferred to be alone rather than disturb their peace with someone who'd end up being temporary. This point of view reflected some hope for relationships down the line, and plenty of people were simply okay with waiting.

"I'm just waiting for when someone wants the full package," said one respondent. "Patience pays." For these potential daters, singledom isn't meant to be permanent — it's simply a break from a potentially toxic dating scene.

Our readers kept it honest, too, with a few admitting that there are just too many beautiful fish in the glittering South Florida seas. "So much talent in the 305," one person claimed, and I don't think he was discussing our sports teams. Another said, "The buffet is too good," which is certainly a clever spin on this dating dilemma.

Pillow Talk to Me: Is looking for love in Miami really so different from dating elsewhere? We want to hear from you. What are the unique issues (or benefits!) you've experienced here versus other places around the globe? Let us know at [email protected].