Can't make it to this year's South Beach Wine & Food Festival? We hear ya. Tickets are kind of expensive.
Fret not. Luckily, Twitter allows complete strangers to pry into the lives of those who live publicly, like Cooking Channel and Food Network idols, for instance.
This year, experience SoBe Fest through these guys and their high-profile tweets. The only other thing that would make the vicarious experience more authentic is if you have a glass of wine in hand at all times. But that would be too hard to handle.
When do u arrive? Let's have a drink- @stevenkamali: Looking forward to #sobewff @lee_schrager @thechefagency
-- Lee Brian Schrager (@Lee_Schrager) February 17, 2013
Lee Schrager
As the papa of the festival, Schrager is the obvious man to follow for all things fest-related. You'll see a lot of requests for bromance dates while out-of-town toques are here.
I would cheerfully shit like a mink tomorrow for the many splendored delights of #MissionChinese today. #saltcodfriedrice #everythingelse
-- Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) February 14, 2013
Anthony Bourdain
Sassy-pants Bourdain holds nothing back when it comes to his Twitter feed. He'll host the Jiro Dreams of Sushi screening, along with a Q&A afterward. That sounds fine and dandy, but as a backseat passenger to the festival, you'll get his real thoughts on everything and everyone -- cough, cough, Paula -- in real time.
Woohoo! It's finally here, y'all! My family and I are hittin' the high seas today for the Paula Deen Cruise. Can't wait to meet y'all!
-- Paula Deen (@Paula_Deen) January 28, 2013
Paula Deen
Speaking of Paul Deen, she's also someone to follow for festival scoop. America's favorite Southern nana doesn't tweet much beyond PR-ish notes about her appearances and books and recipes. But we have a feeling this year will be different. Don't expect her boasting about her best SNL skit, and don't expect her to use the N-word (nutrition, y'all) too often either. But maybe, just maybe, she'll tweet out a couple pics of hilarity.
Just got blown down the block!!NY is windy!!!Mamma Mia!Hair piece pinned in strong thank God!
-- Debi Mazar (@debimazar) January 31, 2013
Debi Mazar
The Cooking Channel's sexiest host of Extra Virgin uses her Twitter feed in the same manner as her stream of consciousness. You'll see everything from her mom thoughts to her TV-personality thoughts to her midlife-crisis thoughts (even though she's only 48) and everything in between. She recently tweeted she can't wait to be in the warm Miami weather. Expect a lot of pics of palm trees and beach at SoBe Fest!
Nicely put RT @rowaenthe: @andrewzimmern This isn't just food porn. This is food porn with a side of orgy followed by a cuddle.
-- Andrew Zimmern (@andrewzimmern) February 17, 2013
Andrew Zimmern
Remember Cocktober? That originated from Andrew Zimmern's Twitter feed. And if that can come from it, imagine the possibilities when you throw in a dash of famous chefs, a pinch of South Beach sea salt, and a splash of liquor. Oh, the possibilities indeed.
Not a bad day to be heading back to nyc.... It's super raining miami! Be back next week for some sun and sobe!!
-- anne burrell (@chefanneburrell) February 15, 2013
Anne Burrell
The last time we saw Burrell at the festival, we thought she was white-girl wasted. We'll never really know if that was true, but her timeline is equally entertaining. She actually just left our stomping grounds but will turn around and come back this weekend. Seems she had fun, so chances are she'll have more fun this time around.
gearing up for sobe food and wine festival!!...can we 4peat at the burger bash??!!...its gonna be good..
-- michael symon (@chefsymon) February 17, 2013
Michael Symon
Remember when Symon won Burger Bash? No, no. Not the first time. Not the second time, either. No, not the third time! Anyway, you see our point. The man is a burger beast (no offense, Burger Beast). Taking the world of ground meat and buns by storm, he might snag his fourth title at the festival this year. Expect lots of shit-talking tweets from this guy.
21 DAYS LEFT, HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR TICKETS? sobefest.com/target
-- ingrid hoffmann (@simplyingrid) January 30, 2013
Ingrid Hoffmann
You know a woman has a sense of humor when she can tweet conversationally with Pepe Billete. We've witnessed the pleasant exchanges firsthand and come up with two conclusions: (1) Miami's favorite cigar-smoking king of puppet joderia is, in some way, domesticated enough to watch Hoffmann's Spanish cooking shows, and (2) the Latin community's favorite TV cook who straddles the Spanish-English-speaking population is deep down a pata sucia who knows how to laugh and have a good time. Maybe Pepe will make an appearance at Sobe Fest!
I'm teaching the little ones how to make pop tarts, pretzels and ??? @ #SOBEWFF Jungle Island's Kidz Kitchen ow.ly/hIM1q
-- hedy goldsmith (@hedygoldsmith) February 14, 2013
Hedy Goldsmith
It sounds clichéd, but Goldsmith really is Miami's sweetheart. Not only can she whip up wonders of the confectionery world, but she can also be notoriously human. It's not uncommon to see her strolling about the streets of the city, living normally as we do, only with a giant brain made of sugar, butter, and cocoa. It's obvious why she's on this list: She's homegrown, and her pictures of sweet treats are bound to be worth retweeting.
Had the pleasure of meeting Gov. Bob Miller of Nevada... stoked to read his book... twitter.com/GuyFieri/statu...
-- Guy Fieri (@GuyFieri) February 8, 2013
Guy Fieri
Poor Guy. The man had a rough end of the year. After getting publicly slammed for his New York restaurant, he kept calm, carried on (probably ate a cupcake), and provided us all with more TV-chef entertainment than Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives could ever dream of. For that, we commend him. We'd also love to see what Guyish things he has to say about his closing party with Ziggy Marley. Best guess as to how many times he can slip in the phrase "flavor town" at the party gets a gold star. (Oh, and as you can see from his tweet above, he does read.)
Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.
Follow Short Order on Facebook, on Twitter @Short_Order, and Instagram @ShortOrder.
