When the munchies strike, there's no better place to be than in the 305 on your way to your favorite restaurant or dessert shop — in an Uber — either solo or with your (bud)dies. That feeling of anticipation and excitement, knowing you're about to scarf down some greasy food or an insane, mile-high dessert, is unlike any other. Because if there's one thing all stoners agree on, it's that a high is only as good as what's available to consume after several deep bong rips. (Not that we'd know.)
Scroll down, gather your friends in the group text, and order your Uber.
Below, listed in alphabetical order, behold the ultimate New Times guide to eating out in Miami when you've come down with a serious case of the munchies.
Big Pink
157 Collins Ave., Miami Beach305-532-4700
mylesrestaurantgroup.com/big-pinkEverything at Big Pink is as a true diner oughta be: belly-busting portions, with single items typically serving two to four people; proletarian prices; late hours; and breakfast anytime. The timeless comfort food is all housemade from scratch — even the thick potato chips and spicy ketchup — and offers some sexy upgrades: for instance, the "Pink Daddy Mack" burger with better beef and a brioche bun; imaginative salads; and elegant crunchy/creamy polenta fries.
Cheeseburger Baby
1505 Washington Ave., Miami Beach305-531-7300
cheeseburgerbaby.netCheeseburger Baby's current owner, Stephanie Vitori, started as a delivery driver at the restaurant before taking over almost two decades ago. The little burger joint, located on Washington Avenue in South Beach, gained worldwide fame after Jay-Z and Beyoncé were spotted enjoying a few sandwiches after hours. The restaurant's motto is simple: Serve great burgers to people into the wee hours of the morning at reasonable prices. The burgers are fresh off the griddle, the beer is cold, and the service is friendly. Plus, it's open from noon to 4 a.m. 365 days a year. Yes, every single day.
Farm Stores
Various locationsfarmstores.comIf getting out of the car isn't for you when you get the case of the munchies, Farm Stores is the only drive-through market that delivers piping hot, freshly baked treats right when you order them through the drive-thru. So, skip the stale pastries at a grocery store and treat yourself to the real deal. Imagine pulling up to Farm Stores and grabbing a warm, freshly baked, and crisp French baguette without leaving the comfort of your car. And while stoned? Miami's "La Vaquita" (what true Miamians call Farm Stores) drive-thru experience is the most convenient munchie experience in the 305.
A cake sampler from Fireman Derek’s Bake Shop would cure all of the munchies.
Fireman Derek’s Bake Shop photo
Fireman Derek's
2545 N. Miami Ave., Miami786-703-3623
3435 Main Hwy., Coconut Grove
786-502-2396
firemandereks.comYears ago, Derek Kaplan was a real-life Miami fireman who made pies with his dad on the weekends. The pies, baked in an industrial kitchen in Wynwood and sold from a food truck and a pizzeria in Coconut Grove, were a sensation. Now Kaplan is one of Miami's most sought-after bakers, making pies for some of Miami's best restaurants. Kaplan also sells his pies, freshly baked cookies, cakes, and ice cream sandwiches at shops in Wynwood and Coconut Grove. Kaplan's fruit pies are massive affairs, with each one requiring several pounds of fruit. His pièce de résistance is the "Crack Pie," which features a thick, sticky layer of salted caramel dusted with a generous blast of powdered sugar. The magic lies in the space where the crust and filling come together in a gooey, savory, otherworldly concoction that melts in your mouth and sticks to your teeth. Open from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily.
Mary's Coin Laundry is a hidden gem with some of the best Cuban food in town.
Mary's Coin Laundry (Mary's Cafe) photo
Mary's Coin Laundry (Mary's Cafe)
2542 SW 27th Ave., Miami305-443-6672Mary's Coin Laundry and Cafeteria opened in 1982 as a simple washhouse. Through the years, the building has grown, and the coffee window has become a café. Around 2001, the joint began 24-hour service, and today, it's a beacon for late-night grub. It attracts everyone from cops to drunks and viejitos to kids and early risers. Whether you feel like downing a medianoche sandwich of ham, roast pork, Swiss cheese, pickles, and mustard, sipping a cup of café con leche, ordering a choripan, or slurping a deliciously creamy mamey milkshake, this is the only place in Miami where you can catch a whiff of detergent and butter in the wee hours — which, oddly enough, makes it oh so very 305.
Night Owl Cookies
Various locationsnightowlcookieco.comNight Owl Cookies founder Andrew Gonzalez has built a multimillion-dollar business by selling doughnut-size cookies in dozens of delicious and munchie-approved flavors. Most nights, lines of eager customers hungry for "Ave Marias" — made with guava dough, white chocolate chips, and cream cheese frosting — swirl around his Calle Ocho storefront. Other popular cookie orders include "S'mores," "Cinnamon Toast Crunch," and the "Dirty Diana," which has chocolate dough stuffed with Nutella. Hours are 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. Sunday through Thursday and 11 a.m. to 3 a.m. Friday and Saturday, the perfect hours to go with the munchies.
Pinecrest Bakery
Various locationspinecrestbakery.comPinecrest Bakery is a 24-hour Cuban-American bakery chain in South Florida that truly makes some of the best pastelitos, cafecitos, bocaditos, sandwichitos, you name it. Whether you're there ordering at 3 p.m. or 3 a.m., expect a line out the door because they're that good. Since the bakery chain opened in December 2012, with lines reaching out the door on early weekend mornings soon after opening, the bakery realized it had found a sweet spot in the hearts and homes of Miami. Its first location was in Pinecrest, and soon, the bakery began to open locations around South Florida. The perfect munchies-satisfying menu items include guava and cheese pastelitos, empanadas, and tequeños.
