Miami's Top Restaurant and Hotel Bathrooms

Looking for a swanky place to relieve yourself after dinner? If so, you're in luck, because Short Order has discovered Miami's best restaurant and hotel bathrooms. This list, the result of copious research, features five of Miami's top toilettes. We rated em based on aesthetic quality, cool features, and overall crapability.

5. In fifth comes the Pelican Hotel and Cafe's restaurant bathroom. Here you will feel

like a techno-pirate: TV's are embedded above the urinals, and the

stall door looks like the entrance to a brig. Marketing manager Paolo

Albertoni told Short Order the hotel mixes maritime elements from

the old hotel with a whimsical, playful theme. That's not to mention it

makes pissing next to some dude less awkward. Beware when entering

this bathroom - occasionally you'll hear an "Arghhhhh" from the

constipated old buccaneer in the stall.

4. Next up is the women's bathroom at the Ecco's upstairs lounge in

downtown Miami. You walk into what feels like a 1920's boudoir. Red

velvet-lined couches abound, while oblong mirrors reflect your image. According to part-owner Jonah, trendy Italian sinks

and the red coloring agree with Ecco's Italian cuisine and design. Do the squat like Greta Garbo did back in the day.

3. In third comes the W South Beach's bathroom. Here an etched glass

screen divides the men's and women's bathroom entrance areas. If parents don't do their jobs, this

design breakthrough allows adolescent boys to spy. Alternatively, diners can look through the glass

wall to see a mirror that projects an infinitely regressing image of

themselves. Trip balls in this chic bathroom.

2. Club 50 at the Viceroy made second place. This bathroom features windows

looking out on nearby Brickell buildings from the stalls. Watch out for

Binocular Bill at Generic Brickell Bank sneaking a glance as you do your business. Smile, you're on candid camera.

1. Balans in Brickell wins first place for Miami's top restaurant

bathroom. Glass doors to individual bathrooms are transparent when

vacant. But when they're occupied, they go opaque. Often, confused drunks are in

plain sight in the midst of tinkling. It may require some getting used

to, but this technology makes going to the bathroom an explorative

experience. Various users have noted the bathroom as one of the

highlights of their night at Balans.

Pelican Hotel & Cafe
826 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach
(305) 673-3373

Ecco Pizzateca & Lounge
168 SE 1st St., Miami
(305) 960-1900

W South Beach
2201 Collins Ave., Miami Beach
(305) 938-3000

Club 50 at the Viceroy Hotel
485 Brickell Ave., Miami
(305) 503-4400

Balans Brickell
901 S Miami Ave., Miami
(305) 534-9191

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