Valentine's Day 2017: The Best Things to Do in Miami When You're Single

Valentine's Day 2017: The Best Things to Do in Miami When You're Single
Photo by Alex Markow
Heads up, South Florida singles: Valentine's Day isn't just for couples participating in appointment romanticism anymore. Overpriced restaurants and 1-800-Flowers aren't the only winners February 14. Why? Because nobody is the boss of you this day — especially not your nonexistent significant other.

For singles, Valentine's Day is just another reason to drink, eat, and get laid. We here at New Times support all three of those activities, so we've put together a list of places where you can find them, beginning this weekend.

Friday, February 10

Valentine's Day Weekend Yacht Party
Singles looking for a party off the beaten path might be interested in the Valentine's Weekend Yacht Party, taking place this Friday at Bayside. The night will include music by Grammy-nominated DJ Juan Coon, live performances by various music artists, and a dance party that will span four floors and include four DJs. General boarding begins 5 p.m., and the yacht launches at 6.
Bayside Marketplace Marina, 401 Biscayne Blvd., Miami; 305-377-9400

Full-Moon Paddles Miami at Virginia Key Outdoor Center
Remember your first love at summer camp? Every month, the Virginia Key Outdoor Center has a full-moon kayak and paddleboarding event, but this month, the event doubles as a cool way to meet some other adventuresome singles. There will be munchies and a bonfire, as well as a stop at the beach for everyone to gaze at the full moon and take photos. Though we don't recommend doing this activity entirely on your own (use the buddy system anytime you're dealing with the ocean), a group of singles might find this one a lot of fun.
Virginia Key Outdoor Center, 3801 Rickenbacker Cswy., Miami; 786-224-4777

Diner Noir: A Pop-Up Hip-Hop Interactive Dinner Party
Presented by Miami DJ Shelly Rockstar, this pop-up dinner begins at a secret location in Miami and then escorts guests to an "elegant venue" where the backdrop of downtown Miami's beautiful skyline and cityscape are visible. Details of the event are released 48 hours in advance. The night costs $50 per person. There will be music, food, and singles in a beautiful setting, but that's all Diner Noir is willing to say. That's sort of exciting, though, right?
Photo by Monica McGivern
Sunday, February 12

Bon Jovi: This House Is Not for Sale Tour
Do you give love a bad name? You're single, so don't answer that. The good news is nothing says, "Screw you — I'll be single if I wanna, all right?!" like a good old-fashioned Bon Jovi jam sesh. That's a thing you can do this weekend with Bon Jovi at the BB&T Center in Sunrise for the band's This House Is Not for Sale Tour. The concert kicks off at 7:30 p.m., and tickets are still available.
BB&T Center, 1 Panther Pkwy., Sunrise; 954-835-7000

Family Day in the Miami Design District
Some single people are followed around by smaller single people, also known as their children. This is a fact, and those people deserve to celebrate Valentine's Day too. The Miami Design District has just the free event for those single moms and dads looking to get out on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. The family-friendly event will include Valentine-making, art classes, a dance party, and a special Lego laboratory where kids can build anything their little Valentine's Day hearts desire.
The Moore Building, 191 NE 40th St., Miami

Tuesday, February 14

Single Ladies Valentine's Day Live Nude Model Painting
You read that correctly: Live nude model. Ladies in the mood for a little something different can bring their own beer and ogle a dude in his birthday suit — for art, of course. A $50 ticket includes all paint supplies, instruction, aprons, an 11-by-14-inch take-home canvas, and unlimited mental images to take with you wherever you go for the rest of your life. Painting begins at 9:30 p.m., but doors will open at 9 so the painters can get sauced up beforehand.
Bottle & Bottega Miami, 2765 SW 27th Ave., Miami; 786-505-9344

Otto von Schirach and Gio Profera Present the Coolest Valentine's Day on Miami Beach
Wanna get weird this Valentine's Day? Otto von Schirach and Gio Profera, two local entertainers and all-around dope dudes, are definitely making that option available. The event, dubbed the Coolest Valentine's Day on Miami Beach, will be hosted by Schirach and include DJ sets courtesy of Profera. Also, there will be milk wrestling, of course.
Sweet Liberty Drinks & Supply, 237 20th St., Miami Beach; 305-763-8217

Be My Valentine Bash — Miami Singles Event — Relish Speed Dating
For 36 bucks, singles aged 24 to 38 can swap stories from 8 to 10 p.m. at Fadó Iris Pub in Brickell. Is this the most uplifting thing to do on Valentine's Day for someone desperately in need of love? No. Is it the fastest way to find someone to spend Valentine's night with, preferably in a nondepressing environment? Sure, close enough!
Fado Irish Pub , 900 S. Miami Ave., Miami
KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Ryan Yousefi is a freelance writer for Miami New Times, a lover of sports, and an expert consumer of craft beer and pho. Hanley Ramirez once stole a baseball from him and to this day still owes him $10.
Contact: Ryan Yousefi