The original title of this post was "Six Things You Don't Know about Kate Upton."
But y'know what? We all know the real reason you're reading right now. And it's not, as they say, "for the articles."
Still, we had to add some something between these shots and videos of the Melbourne, Florida gal who snagged the cover of Sports Illustrated's 2012 swimsuit issue. (We're a culture blog, after all.)
So click through for all the sexy Upton goodness you can stand, plus six facts about her that, yeah, you probably didn't know. Do your best to at least skim them, would you?
Her uncle's a congressman.
Though she grew up in Melbourne, Upton was born in St. Joseph, Michigan. Uncle Upton still works up there, serving as a congressman in that state's sixth district.
She's friends with Martha Stewart.
She and the felonious homemaker exchanged tweets recently, including this photo of the two together. (Warning: In the photo, Upton is fully clothed.) Martha looks really excited, no?
Her dog's name is Boots.
You probably shouldn't mention that if you ever meet her, though. What are you, some kind of stalker?
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She rides like a champ.
Now we're just playing with you. Horses, you pervert. She rides horses, and wins awards for it. Wikipedia told us so.
She's a fan of Survivor.
Upton's on Team Troyzan. Maybe next she'll star on the show herself? All bikinis, all the time.
She loves pudgy, middle-class guys with Miami accents.
Not really. We're just making sure you're still paying attention.