Five Dead Celeb Sex Tapes We'd Rather See Than Tupac's

The busiest dead man in the rap game, Tupac Shakur, released his very first sex tape. Because corpses want reality shows too. Unlike the leaked sex tapes of yesteryear, Tupac's is not all golden showers and infrared. Rather it highlights the late artist's ability to successfully multitask.

According to TMZ the grainy 1991 video shows Tupac entering a living room during a bustling house party with his pants down around his feet, a blunt in one hand and a cocktail in the other, summoning one of his groupie-minons to knell in front of their lord and service him. While this is going down, one of Tupac's unreleased songs plays in the background beckoning Makaveli to sing along to his own song and dance all while his refined lady-friend locks on to him like a Chinese finger cuff.

Tupac's sex tape made us think: What other dead celebs would have interesting sex tapes? Our picks are one click away.

5. Catherine the Great

We're not trying to say we like or advocate bestiality, but we're dying to know if the myth is actually true. It'd also explain a thing or two about Sarah Jessica Parker, Hilary Duff, and Trace Cyrus...

4. Gary Coleman

Were mini trampolines, pogo sticks, or Doggie Steps involved? If not, too bad, because that would've been adorable. Can't you just imagine little Arnold Jackson, buck-naked, in a pair or stilts saying "Whatcha haltin' about penis?" as a full-size lady-friend took a Viagra pill and sling-shot it into his cute, tiny mouth? It'd be like watching Cirque Du Soleil except grumpier.

3. John Ritter

Because is three really company?

2. Bea Arthur
Sure Rue McCalahan would be the more obvious choice but feathers, handcuffs, and lots and lots of cheesecake smothered all over random body parts out on the lanai during a Full Moon Party after flirting with sailors and singing on top of pianos down at the Rusty Anchor seems trite. Bea was a beautiful angel and anyone would should be honored to be touched by her. Plus, it would answer a lot of gender questions.

1. Paul Newman

Yes, we'd like to see the papaw smiling on your favorite salad dressing, lemonade, and popcorn in the nude, full salute, showing us the pepperoni he uses to top his frozen pizza. Did you see Cool Hand Luke before he got old? Less cool, more hot. Kind of like seeing Marlon Brando before he got fat. Or Kim Kardashian before she turned into a cat.

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