Dress Like LMFAO: A Five-Point, Party-Rocking Fashion Guide for Being a 100% Organic Douche
Redfoo and Sky Blu may sound like new lines of low-cal vodka flavors. But in reality, they're just the uncle-and-nephew duo known as LMFAO. You know, like "I'm in Miami Bitch."
On Friday, June 22, they'll be shuffling across the stage of the American Airlines Arena, and they're calling on all party rockers to join them. But not just anyone can be a party rocker. If you're going to wiggle with LMFAO, you've got to look the part.
So we've put together this foolproof fashion guide to the Party Rock and get you lookin' fly. If you follow these instructions exactly, you too will look like a piece of Pop Art freeze-dried in the '80s and microwaved yesterday, which is what you're going for.
6. Make a Statement
Let's start with the basics. You're going to need a solid, brightly colored t-shirt or tank, preferably with the sleeves removed and cut in such a way that most of your torso is visible. But more important than no-sleeves is the message. A Party Rock shirt's gotta come with big, bold block letters and some kind of hashtag statement, like "Sexy And I Know It," "Sorry For Party Rockin'," or "100% Organic Douche." This lets haters know you're here to bring it.
5. Put on Your Party Pants
The cornerstone of any good LMFAO get-up is the crazy pants. You need to go with the tightest and loudest jeans possible. Choose the most likely to clash fabric available. As with everything in your ensemble, neon animal print and sequins are highly encouraged. If you can get patchwork pants that match two seizure-inducing patterns, that's even better. Make sure to compliment your party pants with a chunky, solid, totally inappropriate belt.
4. Shuffle Shocks
Since you're shuffling every day, you're going to need some sensible and comfortable space shoes. You can get away with plain, white sneakers. But it's more effective if you go all out and choose moon boots with the biggest tongue and brightest color palette. Remember, do not match your shoes to your shirt or pants. The name of the game is color collecting, and you're trying to catch them all.
3. Coif City Bitch
You've got to do something with that mop on top. For classic LMFAO swag, let your curls get crazy and tease them locks till you look like a kid playing with a fork in an electrical socket. If frizz ain't your scene, use enough gel to create a geometrical wonder. Just make sure you look like you're being perpetually shaken by earth-shattering bass.
2. Accessory Necessities
Decorate yourself with all sorts of LED-studded neon goodies. It'll take your Party Rock look to the next level. For starters, a great pair of hater blockers is more than necessary. Don't bother unless they're giant and bedazzled. It's always good to go with a wristband, but only on one arm, please. Rock a few gold chains, let them hang low, and promise the bitch she can wear them when y'all knock moon boots later.
1. It's All in the Details
Of course, dressing the part is only the beginning.The little things separate the true party rockers from the posers. Be sure you're covered in sweat and alcohol stains. Let a little bit of questionable powder linger at the corners of your nostrils. Stare off with your glazed, red eyes at nothing in particular. And whenever possible, don't speak, just burp.
Now, look in the mirror. Do you look like the sort of person that would sing about doing drugs and fucking bitches with their uncle for millions of dollars? Is that creepy? Are you too drunk to respond? Then you're ready to go.
LMFAO's Sorry for Party Rocking 2012 tour with Far East Movement, The Quest Crew, Sidney Samson, and others. Friday, June 22. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. The show starts at 7 p.m. and tickets cost $35 to $69.50 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 786-777-1000 or visit aaarena.com.
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