Rick Scott Let Florida Ask Him Questions on Facebook and Things Got Weird

Around 6 p.m. last night, Gov. Rick Scott took off his jacket, perched onto an uncomfortable folding chair in an empty room and flipped open his Macbook to have a reasonable Facebook question-and-answer session with the fine folks in his state.

But then somewhere around the 19th personal attack wedged between questions about why he hates gun owners and wants to kill native fish with genetically engineered predators, Scott quietly logged off, shut his laptop and despaired over the fatal flaw in this plan: He lives in Florida.

The discussion started well enough, with a big fat Obamacare softball for Scott to crush.

OK, so both the question and the answer are based on completely incorrect information about Obamacare. But things could be going worse!

Things soon got a little dicier:

Hmmm, well that answer is also completely untrue. You're making this too hard, Florida! Doesn't anyone have a simpler question for the guv?

That's between the governor, his doctor, and the makers of his high-tech nightly hyperbaric chamber, Ken Bucklin.

There are particle physicists taking a break from their CERN projects trying to solve this. Next!

Is there a question here?

This is just getting uncivil, Florida. Does anyone have an actual policy question Rick Scott can answer?

Thank you, Chris Black. Let the record show that the governor is firmly opposed to people waking up from year-long naps to discover an evil conglomerate attempting to engineer mass genocide with GMO corn.

PIRANHAS. Anyone have any simpler questions for the governor?

Hint: See Jean Lawson Shaw's question.

In the end, Scott did answer 17 Facebook questions (out of nearly 600 left on the page). The world will have to wait for a final answer to the secrets of Scott's blink-free lifestyle, however.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Tim Elfrink is a former investigative reporter and managing editor for Miami New Times. He has won the George Polk Award and was a finalist for the Goldsmith Prize for Investigative Reporting.
Contact: Tim Elfrink