Opinion

Real Housewives of DC's Michaele Salahi Drops "Bump It," the Worst Sing-Talk Trash in History

Being a talentless human turd with absolutely no sense of shame is one of the key prerequisites for any wannabe "reality TV star."



And while The Real Housewives of DC may have been canceled, Michaele Salahi remains talentless, human, and a turd. She also has absolutely no sense of shame, as she's proven time and again by pulling desperate, brain-dead, attention-seeking antics like gatecrashing the White House state dinner with her doofus hubby Tareq and getting kicked off the cast of Celebrity Rehab for not actually being addicted to anything other than her own pseudo-celebrity stank.



In short, Mrs. Salahi's got all the making of a major superstar! And now she's released a club single called "Bump It," which debuted Friday on NBC Miami. She walks. She talks. She sucks. See the cut for the terrible video and excruciatingly stupid lyrics.




Michaele Salahi's "Bump It"



I'm so hot and, like, you're so not

Speakers on blast, let the techno rock

Everybody in the club, make your way to the front

Rhythm is the bass that will make the crowd jump



Bump it!



RJ Starr [Random rapper]

B-b-b-bump!

Gonna get real low like hump

That's my girl Salahi

Yeah, you so flossy



Salahi

Rhythm is the bass



Starr

Bump it!



Salahi

Rhythm is the bass



Starr

Bump it!



Salahi

Rhythm is the bass that will make the crowd jump



Starr

Bump it!



Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?

Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?

Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?

'Cause I'm alone on the dancefloor



Tonight!

When the clock strikes midnight

We will party like an animal, animal

Release me from my cage

I'll be alone on center stage

I'm an animal, animal



This beat is crazy, I can't contain it, it's electronic

The club is rockin', bottles poppin', I'm a danceaholic

I came to party hard and do what I do

My main objective is to be the hottest girl in the room



I'm so hot and, like, you're so not

Speakers on blast, let the techno rock

Everybody in the club, make your way to the front

Rhythm is the bass that will make the crowd jump



Bump it!



Starr

G-g-g-get it, girl, let's make this hot

I'm about to explain, just one more shot

Let's do it how we do it, if you ain't forgot

RJ Starr and Salahi



Salahi

Rhythm is the bass



Starr

Bump it!



Salahi

Rhythm is the bass



Starr

Bump it!



Salahi

Rhythm is the bass that will make the crowd jump



Starr

Bump it!



Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?

Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?

Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?

'Cause I'm alone on the dancefloor



Tonight!

When the clock strikes midnight

We will party like an animal, animal

Release me from my cage

I'll be alone on center stage

I'm an animal, animal



Turn up the bass, bumpin' loud, time to get it started

Just tell the DJ, kill the lights, the beat is callin'

I came to party hard and do what I do

My main objective is to be the hottest girl in the room



When the stars align and there's a full room

We will come alive and party all night

[Unintelligible drivel]

I'm so caught up in the rhythm

The music feels like a prison

Release me, it's time to awken

The night, night, night



Bump it!

Bump it!

Bump it!

Bump it!

Bump it!

Bump it!

Bump it!

Bump it!



I party like an animal!



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