When it comes to rap music, King of Diamonds is like guns, weed, and sex. It's everywhere.
Atlanta might be Strip City, but KOD is the king of strip clubs, and rightfully so. Almost every rapper, from 2 Chainz and Gucci Mane to Lil B and Nelly, has mentioned this Miami nudie mecca in a song or two. Or three. Or four.
This summer, New York City investors bought the club for over $6 million, which sounds about right. After all, they weren't just buying a gentleman's club. They were buying the keys to the castle.
Given the club's notoriety, we here at Crossfade decided to do the dirty work of digging up the ten best rap references to King of Diamonds. And if there's anything to be learned from this list of songs, it's that being told "you could work at KOD" is, in fact, a compliment and your chances are very high, especially if you are a rapper, of finding love in da club.
See also: Rap's Ten Best Songs About Big Butts
10. Juicy J's "Bandz A Make Her Dance"
"At the KOD, she leave with me/She got friends, bring three/I got drugs, I got drinks."
You've heard this song. It's a Top 40 hit. It's also a strip club anthem. And with lines like, "What's your real name? And not your stripper name," how could it not be. For those who know absolutely nothing about strip clubs and their lingo, "bandz" translates to "money" and a lot of it. We're not going to explain what "making it rain" means, because you should be able to figure that out for yourself.
9. Kirko Bangz' "That Pole"
"Say she in King of Diamonds Monday/Ain't scared to get that money/Back in church by Sunday/But we all know she's in love with that pole, pole, pole."
Rappers love dedicating songs to strippers. Usually they go something like, "I met her KOD and she left with me," but Kirko Bangz' stripper parable is a bit different. We learn that strippers go to church too. Also, the girls at KOD really love their jobs. At least that's what we're going to assume being "in love with that pole, pole, pole" means.
See also: Five Signs You Might Be a Shitty Rapper
8. Sean Kingston's "Seasonal Love"
"Met her at KOD, said she got off at 3/Imma be right back, pick her up in my new V/Girl you got that good good, I can't even lie/I ain't even tripping girl, I know I'm that guy."
Sean Kingston met a stripper at KOD during the summertime. They had a fling. Money turned the girl on. (Watch the music video and you'll see her giggling in bed, sprinkled in money, counting money, crying while throwing money, laughing while throwing money, and stashing a shoebox labeled "August" in her closet next to a dozen other labeled boxes.) Their romance goes sour when she sees him chatting up another stripper outside of KOD. But worry not, the couple makes up -- and Sean Kingston probably gives the girl more money.
7. Travis Porter's "Cake"
"All the lil' strip girls want dis cake/Dis, dis, dis, dis cake/KOD, you know I'm straight/Walk in the building throwing dis cake."
Travis Porter is a hip-hop group made up of three pretty funny dudes. For reasons that we can't explain, all three of them dressed up as old men for this music video. We're talkin' gray hair spray, fake beards, round eyeglasses, canes, walkers, wheelchairs, velour sweatsuits, and visors. And for some reason, the strippers in the video are all dressed as nurses and doctors. As for "all the lil' strip girls want dis cake," they're talkin' money. The humor here is pretty obvious: three old dudes walk into a strip club...
6. Wale's "Clappers"
"It's that DMV, we up at KOD/And I can CC you these CCs/But don't be OC."
If you've got any interest in derrieres, you should watch this video. And if you've got any interest in derrieres, you should know what a "clapper" is. Wale is one of KOD's biggest supporters; he's dropped the club's name in many a song, almost as many times as Rick Ross. Such love is impressive, considering Wale isn't even from Miami, he's from D.C.
See also: Ten Best Miami Rap Anthems Ever
5. 2 Chainz' "Wuda Cuda Shuda" Featuring Boosie Badazz
"That Bentley come from Exotic Rentals/Gotta go back Sunday, so you flat broke Monday/Probably could go spend 200 on somethin'/If you was gettin' Boosie money/You in King of Diamonds throwin' counterfeit/You might as well gon' pussy pop on the stage."
The title of the song says it all. It's about "wuda cuda shuda"-type people. They front and they're fake. Take, for example, the song's hook: "I wuda went there with y'all, I wuda got me a rental/I cuda stunt in the club, I could fuck every ho in the building." But the verse by Boosie Badazz (the artist formerly known as Lil Boosie) is the best, though. He talks about guys who rent nice cars and pretend that they own them and guys who throw counterfeit money at the club just to look like they're rich. Speaking of guys throwing counterfeit money at the club, have you seen the Key & Peele skit about that?
4. Denzel Curry's "Denny Cascade"
"Tell me what you niggas know 'bout niggas like me/Roll in KOD, while on LSD."
Unlike the other songs on this list, Miami native Denzel Curry did not make a club banger dance song. Instead, he opted for a chill, stoner number in which he tells a story of driving through South Florida, doing drugs, and picking up someone else's girl. "Roll in KOD, while on LSD" is a nice change from the usual weed and molly references that you get in songs. But it makes you wonder, how many people actually go to strip clubs on LSD?
3. Nicki Minaj's "I Endorse These Strippers"
"I threw like four stacks, nigga, and then four more stacks, nigga/I'm only just gettin' started, I blew a Porsche that minute/It's King of Diamonds, so starless Onyx."
What makes this song great is the title (of course) and its repetition throughout the song. "I endorse this message, I endorse this message/I am Nicki Minaj and I endorse this message" is how it opens, giving the song a subliminal, Big Brother-esque vibe. A song like this had to be made and we're glad it was Nicki Minaj, the Queen of Junk in the Trunk, well known for her own brand of feminism, who grabbed the reins and did it. After all, strippers are people too.
See also: Hip-Hop: Five Most Annoying Buzzwords
2. Drake's "All Me"
"Oh me, oh me, oh my/I think I done fucked too many women from the 305/'Fore the end of this year, I'll do King of Diamonds three more times/Smoking on that kush all in our section like it's legalized."
Oh, poor, pitiful Drake. Life is hard when you're at the top and have an eight-figure bank account, and you had to get there all on your own, huh? What makes this song great is that Drake really is a frequent customer at KOD. (Just Google image search "Drake King of Diamonds" and you'll see what we mean.) So mentioning the club in his music is very apropos. Unlike most rappers who name-drop the club in songs, Drake doesn't rely on clichés. He gets raw and personal, revealing his penchant for "women from the 305" and King of Diamonds, where he's apparently allowed to smoke weed. He doesn't say how much money he leaves behind when he visits, but given that he hits up Miami's nudie mecca at least three times a year, we'd bet on at least a mil.
1. Ace Hood's "Hustle Hard" Featuring Rick Ross and Lil Wayne
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"24s on my Beamer/You never know when I slide up/19 in my nina, red dot when I ride up/Hundred deep in that KOD/King of Diamonds that's me, nigga."
There's no rapper who mentions King of Diamonds more often in their music than Rick Ross. (There are also no other rappers who claim the title of "King of Diamonds" in their music as frequently as Ross, either). In the six years that the club has been around, Ricky Rozay has no doubt made it rain at least a million times. But then again, isn't that something the King should do?
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