If the charges against Kelly Michael Bachmeier are true, Riptide salutes him for hitting for the cycle of Florida crimes: extreme drunkenness, a complete lack of pants, erratic driving and, of course, a good Tasering.
Sheriff's deputies say they caught Bachmeier near Gainesville completely naked in the drivers seat and then Tasered him when he refused to budge. A subdued Bachmeier later blew four times the legal limit.
Late on Tuesday, a sheriff's deputy in Levy County, which is southwest of Gainesville along the Gulf Coast, responded to reports that a man was driving a Dodge Intrepid the wrong way down U.S. 19.
The deputy eventually found the Intrepid in a ditch off State Road 24. When he asked the driver, Bachmeier, to get out of the car, he "act(ed) suspicious and refused to show his hands," the sheriffs say.
That's when the cop noticed that Bachmeier was totally nude.
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The deputy requested backup, and when Bachmeier still wouldn't get out, they hit him with a Taser.
Bachmeier later blew an impressive .334 -- more than four times the limit. At a hospital, his BAC was later recorded at .390, deputies say.
Bachmeier was charged with driving on an expired North Dakota license and DUI.