Lil Wayne celebrated his 28th birthday yesterday at New York City's Rikers Island. And even though he's currently locked up (due back in a month or so), he and his Cash Money Records crew also used his birthday to release the digital version of Weezy's new album, I'm Not A Human Being, which quickly climbed to the top of the iTunes charts. The album will also see hard copies hit store shelves on October 12.
While Wayne can't partake in the joy of another album release, due to his stint in prison - letters from fans (which he says he receives like 150 daily) keep him grounded. We've even heard that Wayne's started writing down his lyrics on paper again -- something he stopped doing years ago.
Anyway, we put together a list of 28 random Lil Wayne lines in celebration of Lil Wayne's 28th b-day. Please note: This isn't a Top 28 list. Just a series of weird Weezy-isms, odd and sometimes out-of-place metaphors, and the occasional funny simile with a little commentary courtesy of Crossfade.
1. "Oooh shit, motherfucker, goddamn/Kicking bitches out the condo like Pam" -- From Drake's "Miss Me"
Nothing like a good ole' reference to one of the better sitcoms of the '90s. Um, Martin. Now all we need is a "You ain't got no job ... Like Tommy!" punchline.
2. "I hate to see her go, but I love to watch her leave/But I keep her runnin' back and forth, soccer team" -- From Young Money's "Bed Rock" featuring Lloyd
The line that's dedicated to the ladies with wonderful backsides and Weezy's love of futbol.
3. "I like my Sprite Easter pink" and "feed me rappers feed me beats" -- From DJ Khaled's "We Takin Over (Original)"
With the Sprite line, we can't be sure what concoction he's referencing, but if Urban Dictionary is correct in any way at all, then Lil Wayne is a very bad boy. And the "feed him rappers" line was very well on the edge of being an ultra "no homo" moment.
4. "My sex game is stupid my head game is the dumbest/I promise, I should be hooked on phonics" -- From Young Money's "Every Girl In The World"
You heard the man, he's "stupid is as stupid does" when it comes to ladies. Fellas, take Wayne's advice and dumb it down. Dumb. It. Down.
5. "Mamis scream, '¡Papi no más!'" -- From
Lil Wayne's "Forever" T.I.'s "Swagga Like Us"
Apparently, being in Miami the last few years helped Wayne learn a little bit of Spanish.
6. "I got stopped by a lady cop/ Haha, she got me thinking I can date a cop" -- From Lil Wayne's "Mrs. Officer"
After his prison stint, I'm pretty sure he's rethinking the above.
7. "Andre 3000, where is Erykah Badu at?" -- From Lil Wayne's "A Milli"
What does this line even mean? We know exactly where she's at. When she isn't publicly stripping in Dallas, you can find her on Twitter via @FATBELLYBELLA.
8. "Damn right, I kissed my daddy/I think they pissed at how rich my daddy is" -- From Lil Wayne's "We Takin Over (Remix)" on Da Drought 3
You know you're doing something right when you're a grown man and can openly confirm and admit to "kissing your daddy" without receiving any kind of long-lasting backlash.
9. "Access to the condo in Miami/Have breakfast on the floor, butt-naked, we tanning" -- Bobby Valentino's "Tell Me (Remix)"
The line that gave groupies all around the world hopes of one day gaining admission to that South Beach Portafino condo that Wayne mentioned in so many songs and verses.
10. "I'm probably in the sky, flying with the fishes/Or maybe in the ocean, swimming with the pigeons" -- From Lil Wayne's "Sky Is The Limit"
I really, really, really think my brain is about to spontaneously combust if I keep trying to figure out this line.
11. "Cause Wayne win, and they lose. I call them April Babies, 'cause they Fools" -- From Lil Wayne's "Mr. Carter"
I can hear Dame Dash's voice saying, "Classics son, classic." (Reference to Track 21 on Kanye's College Dropout album.)
12. "I transform her to a Ducati and then I transform me to a Bugatti" -- From Chris Brown's "Transform Ya"
Most of us can only afford to transform ourselves to Toyota Corollas and Nissan Altimas. #Jealous.
13. "Miami, Khaled took me in like an orphan/Why did they start him, now they can't park him" -- From DJ Khaled's "Brown Paper Bag"
After Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005, Lil Wayne and the Cash Money army moved down to Miami. And even while the city didn't take too kindly to them at first (flooding the city with "F**k Cash Money" flyers), DJ Khaled always welcomed Cash Money with open arms. Seemingly, they returned the gesture recently by giving Khaled a recording contract.
14. "Now I'm with Khaled, we whylin' in Miami/We got a bunch of bitches, we pile 'em in the phantom" -- From DJ Khaled's "Holla At Me Baby"
Doing a clown car scenario with a never-ending stream of half-naked ladies popping out of a Rolls Royce Phantom ... The imagery here is priceless.
15. "And my drink's still pinker than the Easter rabbit" -- From Kanye West's "Barry Bonds"
There goes that "pink drink" line again.
16. "Hello, it's the martian, Space Jam Jordans" -- From Drake's "Forever"
Sneakerheads rejoiced when the self-proclaimed best rapper in the game shouted out the most in demand sneakers of Holiday Season '09.
17. "But I would like for you to pay me by the hour/And I'd rather be pushing flowers/Than to be in the pen sharing showers." -- From LIl Wayne's "A Milli"
18. "Birdman put them cowards in a trash can/Leave em outside of your door I'm your trash man" -- From Lil Wayne's "Go DJ"
This is one of those lines where you just have to hear is flow. It wasn't about what he said, its how he said it.
19. "I'm fresher than a motherfucker/Yes, I'm a motherfucker" -- From
Drake's "I'm Goin In" Birdman and Lil Wayne's "Pop Bottles"
Translation: He's apparently so fresh that he's fresher than himself.
20. "Safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex/'cause you don't want that late text, that 'I think I'm late' text" -- From Lil Wayne's "Lollipop (Remix)"
Ironic, especially after having about three kids in one year with several different ladies. I'm not mad at him at all. Many guys would kill to get a late-night text from Lauren London. Just sayin'.
21."Trapped in a maze therefore I am amazing" -- From Gorilla Zoe's "Lost"
Please drop a comment below if you understand this line, because I do not.
22. "I'm rare like Mr. Clean with hair" -- From Lil Wayne "Phone Home"
23. "Big house, long hallways/Got ten bathrooms, I can shit all day" -- From Young Money's "Steady Mobbin"
Having ten bathrooms in one house and the time to shit all day can only mean that you have more money than one of us regular folk can ever imagine. Congrats Wayne.
24. "Shit I gotta eat/Yeah, even though I ate" -- From Lil Wayne & Birdman's "Stuntin Like My Daddy"
This is either a reference to getting marijuana-induced munchies or a reference to having tons of money, but still wanting more, and, in fact, being willing to take your money.
25. "What's understood don't gotta be explained " -- From Lil Wayne's "Misunderstood"
What's understood, doesn't have to be explained.
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26. "And here's my most funniest joke: I'm broke" -- From LIl Wayne's "Diamonds & Girls"
Who knew Wayne had a sense of humor?
27. "Bitch I'm the bomb like tick tick" -- From Lil Wayne's "Got Money"
A-B-C level similes for the win.
28. "Straight off the black gold, nuts in my hand, trustin' no man/Got my glock cocked, runnin' this thing, ya understand" -- From Lil Wayne's "Tha Block Is Hot"
This is the first line off the first song from his first album. So it's fittingly poetic that we end the list with it. Free Weezy!