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Seven Seriously Tragic Celebrity Commercials

The state of Texas has bestowed upon this country many cultural delights: SXSW, phenomenal barbecue, and most importantly, Gary Busey. The man has the greatest set of teeth in history (they're perfect to Photoshop on sharks), and he's decided to use them to give back to the great state of his birth by starring alongside a guinea pig in a series of local Kia commercials.

These ads, which can only be described as "low-budget, high art" (or high farts, take your pick), can easily be perceived as embarrassing. But it's Gary "Sober stands for Son of a Bitch Everything's Real" Busey, and a not a respected actor who's won oodles of fancy acting awards, so the campy television spots are oddly charming. Rainbow seizures and all.

Still, not everyone is blessed with Busey's unique brand of crackisma. So when other celebs attempt to serve up equally horrific platters of visual cheese, they fail. And we giggle.

So, have you laughed today? If not, peruse our picks for the most embarrassing celebrity commercials of all time. Self-respect not included.

Cindy Crawford


If you are American and have two functioning eyeballs, chances are

that you're familiar with at least one of the 348,032,483,209 products

Ms. Mole has endorsed: Pepsi, Maybelline, ugly furniture.

But have you ever seen her Porcari Sweat ad? No? It's possibly more

humiliating than marrying a dude who's forever associated with having

pervy fun-times with domesticated rodents. So, unleash your inner

asshole and give the following video a mouse, or rather, a gerbil click.

Mr. T


We pity the fool who don't buy a Flavorwave Turbo.

 



Bruce Willis


Nothing says die-hard, gun-slinging, macho manliness like singing

into a wine cooler bottle. NOTHING. Well, unless he had done it with his

pinky up.



Shannen Doherty


Brenda Walsh! Is this what you intended when you abandoned your life

in  Beverly Hills to pursue a career as a serious thespian in London? Is

it? And claiming that you're on the set of anything but a reality show,

a night-cam porn shot by your ex-husband, or a low budget commercial

for a company that created this kind of theme song is about as awkward as wearing the same exact prom dress as Kelly Taylor to the prom.

 

Tina Fey


We're not sure what's more offensive -- the fact that the woman

who wrote a book as funny as Bossypants could deliver such a truly

horrific joke, the hair, or that vest? We're going with the vest.



Jimmy Johnson


Seems the former coach for UM doesn't have much of a 'Cane after all.

Hulk Hogan


Poor Hulk. He's been through a lot of public embarrassment. His wife

leaves him and hooks up with a kid fresh out of high school, his son

had a stint in the slammer, and Brooke Hogan is his spawn. But singing

the days of the week in your underwear in a magical cloud land where the

only inhabitants are a baby head and an AC unit? That's about as

embarrassing as marrying your own daughter.

Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.


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