Hey, little monsters.
Crossfade knows you want to look superfierce for Wednesday's Lady Gaga concert at the American Airlines Arena. But there are still a few guidelines that you'll have to carefully follow if your fabulously freaky ensemble's gonna be up to code.
In fact, arena management has posted a warning on its website for those visiting "The House [sic, everyone knows she spells it Haus] of Gaga."
Check the cut for the AAA's full dress code as well as three of Crossfade's own additions.
No guns or weapons of any kind (as props), no spikes, no masks, no broken glass and no posters will be allowed in the arena
No nudity of any kind and soda can hair rollers will be allowed (as long as the cans are open and empty). Disco sticks will be allowed as long as they are not made with materials that are prohibited (such as broken glass).
Isn't this all common sense? Well, let us be clear, little monsters, if you're planning to replicated Gaga's fashionable aluminum can rollers from the "Telephone" video, you'll need to empty them regardless. There is absolutely no way anyone's hair could support the weight of several unopened cans of soda. Also, using broken glass for anything (aside from cutting a bitch) isn't recommended.
And yet the arena authorities didn't cover it all. There are still a few Lady Gaga looks that aren't covered in the AAA guidelines. See below, little monsters, and proceed only with the greatest of care:
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It's best to keep these unlit. Sure, the smoke is cool. But having fire that close to your face is not recommended. You don't want a human torch moment.
The whole world couldn't wait to see what crazy crap Gaga might pull out of the closet for this year's Grammys. And as always, she was upped the oddness when she was delivered in a dino-sized version of those plastic Easter eggs. Usually, they're filled with candy. But this one was stuffed with nothing but Gaga. Now the arena's security will surely frown upon this look. But if you must, punch a few holes in the shell so you can breathe.
Veganism aside, the meat that now rests on your own, er, meat could have fed a hungry family. Not to mention, you smell like a rotting corpse. Let's keep the food-borne illnesses to the arena's concession stands.