Dolphins Collapse Again in Absurd Loss to Patriots

The 1972 “Undefeated” Miami Dolphins are immortalized as the only team in NFL history to finish a season 17-0.

The 0-2 2025 Dolphins, on the other hand, already look destined to go down in franchise lore as the most quickly “defeated” team ever to take the field, trudging through a season that feels like it has a standing appointment with its own primetime funeral in Buffalo in Week 3.

At this rate, we wouldn't put it past them to be the first NFL team to go 0-17.

🚨JUST IN: Miami #Dolphins fans paid for a plane to fly over the stadium with a sign telling the team to fire head coach Mike McDaniel and GM Chris Grier.

“FIRE GRIER, FIRE MCDANIEL.”

Fans are fed up in Miami 👀👀👀
pic.twitter.com/ptkVpG3dcZ

— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) September 14, 2025

That’s the grim reality for a team that few had faith in heading into the season and saw fans already flying banners demanding the firing of its general manager and coach after just four quarters. But what unfolded in quarters five through eight felt like the end of an era.

Unpacking all that happened on Sunday would be a fool's errand, so we'll just fast-forward to the part where the Dolphins put an exclamation point on their latest shitting of the bed. Losing their home opener 33-27 to the New England Patriots in one of the most absurd ways imaginable, a kickoff return touchdown allowed just seconds after their own punt return score put them ahead was peak Dolphins misery.

This wasn’t just a loss; it was a gut punch that perfectly encapsulated decades of heartbreak baked into this franchise’s DNA. Just when you think you've seen everything as a Fins fan, Sunday happens.

It played out like this: the Dolphins' Malik Washington broke loose for a 74-yard punt return touchdown with just over seven minutes remaining in the game to put Miami up 27-23.

Soak it in. Feel the good feels. The Dolphins have life.

First punt return TD for Dolphins in 5 years 😲

(via @NFL) pic.twitter.com/KvrSKjzpXs

— NFL on Prime Video (@NFLonPrime) September 14, 2025

Now disregard everything you just felt and accept the fact that, because the Dolphins can't have nice things, mere seconds in real-time later, the Patriots' Antonio Gibson immediately answered with a 90-yard kickoff return to put New England back on top, 30-27.

Here is video evidence of that moment in time — when Dolphins fans' smiles turned upside down. Twelve seconds. Fins fans had something to be happy about for just half of an NBA shot clock.

UNREAL.

The Patriots follow up the Dolphins’ 74-yard punt return with a kick return of their own to retake the lead! 🤯

(via @NFL)pic.twitter.com/Lp5KN45u06

— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) September 14, 2025

We could put words here to describe the feeling of watching another Dolphins victory snatched from the jaws of victory, but we'll just let the reaction of X user Fins TD PHINS TALK sum up everyone's reaction.

If there was ever a video depiction of what it feels like to be a Miami Dolphins fan, this is it. We are all this man. 

Dolphins celebrating that punt return TD only to crash out a few minutes later to a Patriots kick return TD 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/cQKVaX9lxV

— Master At Work (@MasterAtWorkinc) September 14, 2025

Now, at 0-2, Miami heads into Buffalo for what feels destined to be a Thursday Night Massacre against Josh Allen and the Bills, a game that could, and should, mercifully mark the end of Mike McDaniel’s tenure as head coach of the team. McDaniel's postgame demeanor and absurd scatterbrained responses at the podium felt like a man on borrowed time that he may prefer not even to be loaned.

His response to how the team can turn the season around may go down in team lore as one of the most embarrassing, which is really saying something.

“Uhm, we’re, to win games you have to win the game, umm, not lose the game... honestly. And that, that is how you lose the game.” McDaniel said to the media following the harrowing the game.

Yes, really.

“Uhm, we’re, to win games you have to win the game, umm, not lose the game… honestly. And that, that is how you lose the game.”

— Mike McDaniel on Dolphins Week 2 loss to the Patriots

Oh, brother… 🤦🏻‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/63B3hVMQPM

— Don Shula Corleone (@DonShulaCorleon) September 14, 2025

If you have some weird fetish you've subconsciously developed over the years to watching the Dolphins get their portholes pushed in, boy, will this Thursday's game against the 2-0 Bills be a fun watch for you. Even on their best day, a good Dolphins team can get routed in Buffalo. A bad, injured Dolphins team that is on the verge of firing its head coach, going up against what looks like another Bills team destined to contend for a Super Bowl, is a recipe for an all-time beatdown.

You might want to consider picking up some of the Dolphins' new black "Rivalries" jerseys, as a funeral is scheduled to take place in Buffalo in four days.