It's a gorgeous South Beach afternoon. The sun is shining. And the weatherman was wrong ... No rain.
In typical Clevelander Hotel fashion, the pool is full of scantily clad 20-somethings with frozen Red Bulls in hand. Only this day is different: Calvin Harris and Miley Cyrus are in the building. And yes, everyone is psyched.
All on site for Y100's Mackapalooza, your usual suspects were all in attendance, from the hot spot's unnaturally good-looking staff to just-barely 21 year olds, way-too-drunk tourists, and your creepy uncle's look-alike standing at the bar, all by his lonesome. With a hefty line taking over the Ocean Drive entrance, it was obvious that everyone was hyped for one thing: Miley Ray Cyrus.
Sure, Calvin Harris is a big deal and brings a crowd. With over two million Twitter followers and as a fan favorite of Ultra Music Festival, Miami loves him and his beats. And the man surely knows how to rock a soiree. Breaking out Y100's daily play list, he got the crowd shaking ass. But once Mr. Harris leave the stage and paparazzi start to surround the building, we knew the songstress was in the building.
For non-fandom reasons, we were excited to see this little starlet in person. As a 20-year-old former child star in Hollywood, this teen sexpot has pretty much kept it together. No DUIs, the occasional marijuana use, and a love for lack of clothing. Didn't we just sum up everyone's late teens? The only difference is most of us don't have millions of dollars to our name at that age. And being that she was named No. 1 on the Top Ten Richest Teens in Hollywood, with $120 million, you would expect at least one jail stint. But Miley's most scandalous rebellions have been getting engaged to a hot Australian and releasing a hit single with lots of drug references.
Luckily, Miley (briefly) lived up to the hype on South Beach.
Arriving with an entourage of outrageously large security guards, the former Disney princess was decked out in extremely high heels, bright red lipstick, dangerously short-shorts, and Chanel jewelry. After posing with fans and meeting with sponsors, Y100's Mr. Mack himself walked her to the stage.
Not shockingly, people lost their shit. Like Maggie from Deerfield, who even informed us that she called in sick for work just to see Miley. "Yeah," she screeched, "I might cry."
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Once in front of fans, Ms. Cyrus waved to her fearless fans and began jamming with the DJ. Then Mack had a wonderful idea: "Twerk contest, anyone?"
Quickly, we learned that Miley might be the only white person with the ability to truly twerk. Caucasians, it just isn't your thing. Accept that fact.
Sadly, just as fans started to bumrush the stage, there she went. No performance. No more twerk. But hey, we can all say we hung out at a South Beach hotel pool on a random Friday afternoon with Miley Cyrus, right?