Hunx and His Punx Free-Balling With Sailor Jerry, September 9

See the full 25-photo Hunx and His Punx at The Stage slideshow.

Hunx and His Punx

With Lil Daggers and the Coathangers

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The Stage

September 9, 2011

Better Than: A golden shower in our butts.

Seth Bogart is a corporate whore. And for the record, he wasn't wearing any underwear at last night's show. But even free-balling, Hunx and His Punx felt supported.

Miami's own psychedelic garage rockers Lil Daggers opened the Sailor Jerry Presents party at The Stage. The West Miami crew pushed out a raw, half-hour set that included tracks off their self-titled LP, and lead singer Johnny Saraiva splashing the crowd with confettied glitter.

The Daggers were followed by the Coathangers, an all-girl quartet from Atlanta who displayed their musical dexterity by switching instruments several times throughout the set.

On some tracks, lead guitarist Julia Kugel played drums while drummer Stephanie Luke tackled guitar, however she'll occasionally play bass. Sometimes bassist Meredith Franco handled vocals, and other times she was behind the drum kit while keyboardist Candice Jones snatched up the bass. It was tough to keep track of. But it was fun to watch.

Speaking of fun, a fair description of the Coathangers' sound would blend elements of surf, post-punk, and garage rock, but we'll just call it hipster dance rock. Their up-tempo set inspired the evening's first mini-pits, and triggered enough positive energy from the crowd to merit a superlative.

Kugel proclaimed Miami as Coathangers' best Florida show before wrapping up their set with an unidentifiably catchy number. Nothing tickles Miami's tits like a 'best of' compliment.

Moments before Hunx and Punx's midnight slot, Bogart admitted via Twitter that he'd sold himself to corporate America. "Ima [sic] fuckkng [sic] corporate whore," he tweeted, then casually walked on stage and proceeded to push some rum.

Dressed in matching gold and black lycra, the San Francisco group sort of resembled a co-ed high school color guard squad. And fittingly enough, Bogart dedicated the first song to "all the gay boys and girls."

Midway though "Hey Rocky," Hunx's jacket came off, and Bogart used it as a flirtatious prop, swinging it around his head like a lasso while eye-fucking boys in the front row.

It only took 15 minutes and three songs for Hunx's lead singer to announce that he had to pee "so fucking bad," and wanted to do so in guitarist Daniel Pitout's butt.

Pitout respectfully declined the offer.

A brief technical interruption after "If You're not Here" caused Bogart to host the loudest side contest. Stage left was super weak. And the middle, they were alright. But stage right killed it.

Hunx and His Punx's Hardly Art label mates Jacuzzi Boys came out to show their support. And they weighed heavily (and hard) on Bogart's mind last night.  

"Who has the biggest dick in the Jacuzzi Boys," he asked, hoping to find someone who had "fucked a Jacuzzi Boy" to get to the bottom of it. No one raised their hand, which we find hard to believe. But the general consensus was that Gabriel's pee-pee is biggest.

After playing crowd favorite "You Don't Like Rock 'N' Roll," Bogart quipped about the surreal nature of last night's gig. "I feel that this is, like, fake," he told the crowd. "Don't you feel like we're all extras in a movie?"

Yeah, a John Waters love story that ends with a shirtless slow dance in the form of "Lover's Lane."

Campy? Yes. Awesome? Totally.

Critic's Notebook

The Crowd: Folks that majored in a fine art, wannabe Urban Outfitter catalog models, cute couples dry humping one another 'round the dance floor, and Sailor Jerry Rum reps.

Overheard in the Crowd: "Show us your dick"

Five Best Bogart Quotes of the Night:

"What's the next buzz beverage gonna be?"

"Shannon and Erin are pathetic at Boggle."

"Can you do anything to enhance the performance?"

"Fuck birth control."

"Condoms are cool, use them."

"I think it's time you take your shirts off."

Hunx and His Punx's Partial Setlist:

"Hey Rocky"

"If You're Not Here"

"Bad Girls Club"

"Too Young to be in Love"

"You Don't Like Rock 'N' Roll"

"Gimme Gimme Back Your Love"

"Keep Away from Johnny"

"Lover's Lane"

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