Howie's Kid a Dolphin?
According to Pro Football Talk, NFL Network's Adam Schefter is saying the Dolphins could take Virginia Defensive End Chris Long with the number one overall pick.
"The widespread thinking is that the Miami Dolphins will ultimately regard Chris Long as entailing the least risk in return for a contract that will carry roughly $35 million in guaranteed money."
Long seems like a Bill Parcells type of player. He's a meaty dude with meaty arms, meaty legs and a meaty neck. And we all know Parcells loves his meat (Hey, a fat joke! I'm witty!). Chris is also the son of Hall of Famer Howie Long. Howie Long was an awesome defensive end for the Oakland Raiders back in the day. His movie career was not so awesome.
If Chris can bring it like his dad did, then hey, who am I to begrudge this pick? He's definitely worthy of a top five pick according to most draft scouts. Kid's a stud. I mean, look at that picture. I have no idea what's going on in that picture, but I think Chris Long might be a superhero (and that works around here). Or he also might be about to sack The Invisible Quarterback. So, who the fuck knows?
The closer the draft gets, the more I like Chris Long with this pick. Matt Ryan doesn't excite me all that much, and you'll have a better chance at convincing Parcells to allow you to piss into his Big Gulp than you would at convincing him to draft Darren McFadden. Glenn Dorsey seems like a dark horse at this point (but then again, so did Ted Ginn this time last year). And then there's the rumor of trading this pick to Cleveland for Derek Anderson or just trading down altogether.
Long seems to be my favorite right now. He seems to be Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor rolled into one big white dude. Will that be enough for Parcells to pull the trigger on him? Or will someone surprise him with a trade offer too good to pass up? Who does Parcells like in this draft class? I mean really like? We'll have to wait and see what Schefter and Mortensen and McShay and Clayton tell us in the coming months.
In other words, I have no fucking idea. And neither does anyone else. -- Chris Joseph
For more on sports from Chris Joseph go to Finsnation.com.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.