Six Types of People Who Actually "Like" Nickelback
And in line with its total, unabashed disgust for the Canadian bad boys of flavorless ballads, the Internet has now exposed every one of the 13,961,275 who actually "Like" this crap.
So who are these strange, tasteless slugs who call themselves "Nickelback fans"? Their age, sex, and location may vary, but they all share the same awful common denominator.
6. Southerners in Their 30s and 40s
It's easy to forget that Nickelback's members are Canadian, because they have so much in common with slightly redneck-y middle-agers from the American South. This group really identifies with the Nickelback message of just kicking back, drinking some beers, listening to '80s rock, and wearing blue denim.
5. Middle Schoolers With Underdeveloped Taste in Music
Then, of course, there are the children who like Nickelback simply because they don't know any better. There's a certain amount of forgiveness that comes with being a child. You can't blame them for having bad taste. They're still figuring it all out. As long as they grow out of it, these kids should be fine.
4. People Who Refuse to Use Proper Capitalization and Spelling
Go to Nickelback's facebook page, and it's riddled with messages like "I luv u guys!" and "U r an angels." Sure, in today's fast-paced society, it's easier to type without using your words. But it's also easier for us to just assume you're uneducated and terrible.
3. Agro Metal Dudes Who've Been Brainwashed by Clear Channel
Every now and then, when scrolling through the messages left by hardcore Nickelback enthusiasts, you come across the one guy with long-hair and a flying-V guitar that probably should know better, but still loves Nickelback anyway. That's because this would-be metal monster has somehow adopted the whole radio-friendly mud rock attitude. It's kind of sad.
2. Sao Paolo, Brazil
This entire city is freaking packed with Nickelback fans, according to Facebook's data. At first, we thought maybe they bought fake fans like certain top DJs. But then we found out Nickelback is just really big in Brazil. Super weird, we know. But clearly, the sentiment isn't the same in Portugal.
Of course, the best kind of Nickelback fan isn't even a fan at all. Some people "Like" Nickelback simply because they want to write all over the band's wall about how much they suck. Of course, the rest of the "real fans" don't get it and sometimes try to appeal to reason. But there's no reasoning with a troll. Sure, such open displays of hatred may not seem to make sense. But they're certainly more entertaining than actually listening to Nickelback.
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