Vincent Guadazno

Despite her breast efforts...

Susan Seligson's Stacked: Adventures in Boobland

With a book title like Stacked: A 32DDD Reports From the Front, author Susan Seligson was already expecting at least a little attention. As a woman with a rack of her own, she's been on the receiving end of the male gaze for most of her life. And as an already-published author and writer who has contributed to the New York Times Magazine, Salon, Redbook, and Allure, she thought she had already seen and experienced it all. Still, the response to Stacked blew her away.

Curious onlookers and breast sympathizers can meet Susan Seligson and hear more of her crazy, funny stories on tomorrow, April 11, at 8:00 p.m. at Books and Books, 265 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables.

Seligson has gotten some great reviews, but the article that got the furthest under her skin was "written" by the London publication the Daily Mail. "They wrote a 90 percent fabricated article with no quotes — the writer completely made up stories and situations. I've actually contacted a Fleet Street lawyer about it. I mean, I've been a journalist for a while and it takes a lot to shock me. But that was just beyond anything," she says.

Seligson was also dissed on Gawker.com for not living up to their visual expectations. The post sparked quite a bit of snarky commentary, all targeted towards Seligson's physical appearance. When asked about the Internet dust-up, the author admitted that she was shocked by the initial response: "I couldn't believe it; they found this crappy photo of me from years ago and put it up there. And this all happened before the book came out! I was like, where is this venom coming from? People were saying that their father had bigger boobs than me. Don't these people know that the social highlight of my day is walking my dog? And they're gossiping about me? How funny!"

Despite the hubbub, Seligson has found the silver lining in that cloud of coverage. "It's just another thing that qualifies the book. That people take their time to type out a negative comment about someone else's body is funny to me. Another thing to remember is, I'm not a kid. I'm 52! I'm not looking for dates and I'm not a babe," she declares.

Although Seligson is — by her own admission — not a jiggling sexpot, she spends chapters in search of them. In Stacked she interviews plastic surgeons and pinup magazine editors, women who have had breast reductions and enlargements. One chapter finds her at a big boob convention in Las Vegas, in hot pursuit of Maxi Mounds, possessor of the Guinness World Book of Record's largest pair of augmented tits (measuring in at a mind-boggling 156MMM). Seligson was unable to get face time with Maxi, but she did manage to hang with Kayla Kupcakes. "Oh, I love her. She was like a big doll. It's something that's difficult for us to understand, becoming that kind of object. But she was such a sweetheart," Seligson recalls.

The main thing Susan Seligson has learned from her adventures in boobland is that there is no one-size-fits-all for breast coverage, so to speak. The author finds the subject continually funny and fascinating. "I'll get Google news alerts from Papua New Guinea and Dar Es Salaam with articles like, 'Are Tyra Banks' Boobs Real?' People think and care about boobs in cultures all around the world. It seems that people are more breast obsessed than ever," she says. --Patrice Yursik

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