Things To Do

Eleven Best Things to Do This Weekend in Miami

Miami can be so annoying, bro.

Irregardless of our broken English, poor syntax, and tik-tiki music, the Big Mango can be tremenda mierda sometimes.

From shitty drivers to Pitbull's overuse of the word "dale," there's so much shit to be embarrassed about.

Pero at the end of the day, Miami's better than Tampa, right?

We doubt that their weekend guide's as diverse as ours. And that whole Gulf of Mexico thing? Whack. It's all about the Atlantic, baby. No oil spills on this side, bitches.

Here are the 11 best things to do in Miami this weekend.


  • Batuke Samba Funk: Anchored in Miami but rooted in drum circles, these cats are samba fusion samurais.
  • Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival: Gay, straight, bi, or transgender, a good film is a good film. Check 'em out this weekend at the Colony.
  • Go Dutch! Orange Bike-In: Cindo de Mayo? Boring. July 4? Bastille Day? Whack. Celebrate Holland, yo, with a bike ride and some Grolsch beer.
  • Miami Beach Polo World Cup: Piss off some Occupiers and animal advocacy groups while rooting for your favorite polo team.


  • Miami New Times' Brew at the Zoo: We're having a party, and you're invited. Catch is, it's going to cost you. But we've got Alien Ant Farm performing, so it's justified.
  • Pepe Billete: Puppetry, Miami style. 
  • Microteatro por Dinero: Ever watched a show in a shipping container? It's your last chance.
  • Afrobeta: We love these guys. Hope they stay in Miami for-ev-er.
  • Rony Seikaly: It's only fitting that a former Miami Heat powerhouse is now a house DJ. Only in Miami.


Follow Cultist on Facebook and Twitter @CultistMiami.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Victor Gonzalez
Contact: Victor Gonzalez