Drunken Miami Couple Terrorizes Quiet Naples Hotel Pool, Demands Tickling From Police

A lot of weird things happen in Florida every week. We're here to bring you the weirdest. This week: a Miami couple who found Naples just a bit too boring; the tale of Mistress Creammy Juicy, unlicensed massage therapist; and two women who would rather have Publix groceries than the two 11-year-old girls who were with them.

Miami Man Terrorizes Naples Hotel, Asks Cops to Tickle Him, Has Wrists Too Big to Handcuff
If you're looking a for a quiet getaway just a few hours from Miami, Naples is always a convenient choice. Just be aware that they tend to keep things a bit quieter there. It's not exactly a good outlet for rowdy fun. Twenty-four-year-old Miamian Bryan Chao and his wife found that out the hard way. 

On Wednesday, the couple was drinking at the pool of the Naples Inn. Apparently, being at a hotel pool without some sort of loud noise blaring seemed strange to them. How else would you explain their decision to pull the fire alarm? 

According to the Naples Daily News, police arrived and asked Chao to get out of the pool. He refused numerous times. He eventually got out, but then, with slurred speech, asked police officers to repeatedly tickle him. Police did not comply but instead tried to handcuff him. The cuffs were apparently too small; however, the cops were eventually able to detain him and take him to jail. 

Chao's wife was also intoxicated, so much so that police took her into custody under the Marchman Act, a Florida law that allows police to take an intoxicated person in to receive treatment without their consent. 

"Hopefully, we never see them again,” the hotel's general manager, Sue Soldan, told the paper. 

"Mistress Creammy Juicy" Arrested for Giving Massage Without a License
Lantana police were monitoring an online classifieds site when they came across an ad placed by one Mistress Creammy Juicy. Police replied to the ad, soliciting a massage. Juicy agreed to give a half-hour massage with oil for $80, coming down from the original price of $100. (Why the officer bothered to haggle, we are not sure.) Juicy also reiterated that no prostitution services would be offered. 

An undercover officer met Juicy at a Super 8 Motel, and Juicy told the officer to take off his clothes so the massage could be conducted. The officer also smelled the scent of marijuana in the room. Once Juicy agreed to begin the massage, another officer swooped in and arrested Juicy.

Turns out Juicy's legal identification is 24-year-old Dwayne Brandon. Juicy/Brandon was charged with soliciting to practice massage without a license, possession of marijuana, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Women Try to Take $476 Worth of Groceries From Publix, Leave Their Kids Behind 
Children are not legal forms of tender in Florida, and Publix certainly doesn't want to accept them in lieu of nearly $500 worth of groceries. 

Kristen Grodetz, 25, and Jessica Barker, 31, were at a Publix near Kissimmee last week and loaded a cart with $476 worth of groceries. Then they tried to make a smooth getaway by bypassing the checkout and pushing the cart through the exit. An employee confronted them, and Grodetz and Barker took off. 

The problem is that they had three kids with them. Though they took a 3-year-old with them when they fled, they left behind two 11-year-old girls. Police arrived, and the girls had phone numbers for the two women. One answered and said she'd be right back to get the girls, but after several hours, she never showed up. The children were eventually turned over to the Department of Children and Family Services before being released to family members in Fort Myers. 

Grodetz eventually turned herself into police in Lee County. She was charged with grand theft, child neglect, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Barker remained at large for several days. Coincidentally, she was on probation for a previous grand theft arrest. She eventually turned herself in to the Osceola County Sheriff's Office and explained she never returned to get the girls because she thought Grodetz was with them. 
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Kyle Munzenrieder