Billionaire Backchannel Speeds Up Miami Police Response

Politicians are more than willing to lend a helping hand down here in Miami, according to real estate investor Barry Sternlicht.

While New York and other less accommodating cities are busy destroying the American dream and "haranguing" benevolent businessmen, Miami elected officials are welcoming, responsive, and dedicated to civil service. 

Our public servants are at one's beck and call whenever an issue arises, no matter how small. You simply throw them a text and they'll have your problem resolved, lickety split.

It's that easy here in the Magic City.

Granted, you may need to be a billionaire or megawealthy investor to qualify for that privilege. But it's available just the same, right?

Sternlicht, head of Starwood Capital Group, laid out a case for Miami's governmental exceptionalism during an appearance on CNBC's April 4 edition of Squawk Box. When co-host Andrew Ross Sorkin asked what he would do if he were "King of New York" to fix the city's problems, Sternlicht responded that he'd lower taxes, incentivize investment, and make it more like Florida.

"The American dream is still alive in many of these red states. And the blue states, they basically said business is evil. That seems to be the narrative of one of the parties, and that's just absurd," Sternlicht said during the chat inside Squawk Box's New York studio.

The Miami Beach resident then relayed an anecdote about how he was able to speed up the police response to his friend's car accident in Miami over the weekend by shooting a text to the mayor.

"He almost got killed by a driver and the police were not acting quickly enough," Sternlicht said. "I texted a friend who texted the mayor, and the mayor was on it in five minutes and got the police. I mean that can't happen up here."

It's unclear how much the unnamed politician influenced the police response, and whether officers were already en route. (New Times is looking into where the accident occurred and if we are dealing with the City of Miami proper in this saga.)

Suffice to say that when Sternlicht needs a favor, local officials would do well to bend over backwards.

Starwood Capital, a sprawling investment firm cofounded and run by Sternlicht, has more than $100 billion in assets under management. Since its launch in 1991, the firm amassed a real estate empire that included the W Hotel and Sheraton brands (before a merger with Marriott), residential holdings across the country, the in-house property management company Highmark Residential, and two of the biggest commercial real-estate-financing operations in the U.S.

Sternlicht has served as the chairman or CEO of a half-dozen large companies and built a 14,000-square-foot palace on Miami Beach.

With that kind of clout, we can't blame him for flexing.

But what's a rank-and-file Miami resident to do if you're in a pickle, but you don't have a public servant at your disposal?

Don't panic.

There's always 9-1-1.