You know what's rough? Going out on Thursdays. It seems like such a good idea at the time. You get dressed up and think it's one last hurrah before the week is over, what harm could it do? And then Friday morning slams into your face and you're all OMG get out of my face, I want my mommy.
Momma's not gonna help that ridiculous hangover you've got. And Momma sure as hell won't help you get through your day at work following a mid-week evening of debaucheries.
But, knowing that in just 8 hours you'll be free from the shackles of responsibility? That should help you tons.
Go do work, Miami. Then relax.
The Casualties: Usually casualties are a bad thing. But not tonight!
Gathering of the Giants: For your inner body art enthusiast.
Pilobolus: Think of a scene from 50 Shades of Gray expressed in dance.
Cashmere Kitties Music Fest: A "mind-expanding, consciousness-warping" experience. And the kittens.
Smash & Grab Fundraiser: A raffle on steroids.
Halloween Sundowner: Party with the ghosts of the Vizcaya Estate.
Halloween Bluesfest: What better place to celebrate Halloween than at Tobacco Road?
America's Got Talent Auditions: You don't all have talent, but some of you do, and you need to cash in on it.
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Alice Cooper: Still the oldest vampire in all the land.
WWE Hell in A Cell: Sweaty, oily, muscley men inside a 20-foot-tall cage.
Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.