There's been a ton of talk going on recently about the video of Mitt Romney's fundraiser in Boca Raton that was leaked to Mother Jones magazine. Yes, we're talking about the one where he called 47 percent of Americans freeloaders.
We found out that the private fundraiser had a price tag of $50,000 per person. That's a helluva dinner party ticket, right? We get it. He's the governor. He's running for president of the United States. He needs stacks of cash to help him campaign.
But $50,000 seems absurd. We figured that the absurd people who paid this absurd price to get into said absurd Florida function probably also had an absurd meal to boot.
Appetizer: Ass Cheese
Since that evening's entree was rather heavy, the caterers didn't want to make such a huge spectacle of an appetizer. These people may have paid $50 grand to plop their butt on a seat for 4 hours but that doesn't make them unreasonable people. Especially when it comes to their food. Guests likely nibbled on bits of ass cheese. That is, cheese that has been produced from a donkey. It runs for about $700 a pound. Chew on that for a bit, because that's expensive ass. (But not unlikely given the crowd.)
Entree: Douche Burger
Some of you might think this was an obvious choice of entree for the folks at Romney's private fundraiser -- and you're right. That's why we chose it. And no, it's not because it has the word douche in it (though we weren't opposed to that part). The douche burger is made up of gold leaf-encrusted Kobe beef, foie gras, Gruyere that's been melted with champagne steam, lobster, truffles, caviar, and barbecue sauce. That last component sounds out of place, we know (Pfft. People who eat barbecue can't be rich). But the sauce is made with coffee grinds of Kopi Luwak coffee (yea, that's the coffee that's pooped out of and animal before you slip in your Stevia packs and Half-n-Half cups).
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Dessert: Golden Opulence Sundae
Not to be outdone by the Douche Burger, dessert was probably the highlight of that evening (besides the crazy good open-mic night Romney did). The golden opulence sundae can actually be found in our own backyard at Serendipity 3 on Lincoln Road. Essentially. it's chocolate and vanilla swirl soft serve wrapped in gold junk but to the fundraiser guests, it's far more. Tahitian vanilla ice cream infused with Madagascar vanilla beans and chunks of rare Chuao chocolate from Venezuela. Hershey's ain't gonna cut it. It's drizzled with expensive chocolate syrup and decorated with sweet caviar, golden almonds, marzipan cherries, and the crystal glass that it's served in is the guest's to keep. Befitting, right?
The Wine: Penfolds Block 42
Of course what's a night with out wine? A particularly fantastic wine to go with the meal is Penfolds Block 42, which runs at about $168,000 a bottle. You, too, can have this wine for dinner, or 2 (or 3?) cars. Choose wisely.
Follow Alex on Twitter @ARodWrites.