Florida Man Uses Wife's Head as Mop

A lot of weird things happen in Florida every week. On Fridays, we're here to bring you the weirdest. This week: A man who used his bride as a mop, a boy-band veteran gets arrested for a Key West bar fight, and two Deadpools break the fourth wall. 

Man Used Wife's Head as Mop 
When we came across this story, our first thought was, Oh, dear God, he cut her head off and put it on a stick to use as a mop. Thankfully, that wasn't the case. This is still a pretty terrible story, but it could have been so much worse. 

Fruitland resident Keith Davidson, 46, woke up last Sunday sometime after noon and wanted to make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but he soon discovered he was out of jelly. He then decided to lash out at his wife. During the argument, the wife went to get the peanut butter but accidentally knocked over a glass of milk. Davidson pushed her to the floor and used her hair to mop up the milk. That's when she called police. 

The victim, who's name hasn't been released, told WESH that it isn't the first time her husband has used her as a "dish rag." A domestic abuse expert also told the station that abusive husbands often use fights over food as an excuse to take their rage out on their victims. 

"You can love someone with all your heart, but if they're not going to be a good person for you, in your life, then it's time to just say goodbye," the victim told the station. "And it's the hardest thing for me." 

Backstreet Boy Arrested in Key West 
There aren't that many things sadder than the words "nineties boy-band star arrested for Florida dive-bar fight." 

This past Wednesday night, Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys showed up a bit drunk at the infamous Hog's Breath Saloon in Key West. He was denied service and then began arguing with the bartender. After becoming highly aggressive with the staff, he was asked to leave, but as he was walking out, he sucker-punched the bouncer. That's when police showed up and got involved. Carter was charged with misdemeanor battery. 

Though Carter isn't living as large as he was in his TRL days, he otherwise has been doing all right. The Backstreet Boys finished up a world tour this summer. This fall, he appeared on Dancing With the Stars and released a solo album. He also found time to film a movie he wrote last year. In addition, Carter is awaiting the birth of his first child. Which is to say, he's probably doing better for himself than most of the non-Justin Timberlake members of 'Nsync. 

Men Dressed as Deadpool Try to Take ATM
Deadpool, one of comic-book geeks' favorite antiheroes, will make his way to the big screen this February despite not being that well known to non-comic-book audiences. The movie could use all the innovative marketing it can get, and apparently some two-bit thieves in Brevard County decided to do their part. 

Two men dressed in Deadpool costumes broke into a business early last Thursday morning and attempted to make off with an ATM. The crime was caught on a security camera. One suspect briefly unzipped his mask, exposing his face, but police are still working to identify him. 

The duo loaded the ATM into the back of a van, which itself was later determined to have been stolen, but for some reason couldn't leave the parking lot. So they just left the ATM in the back of the van and were later picked up by some friends

We wouldn't be surprised if the incident were referenced in a future Deadpool comic, given its propensity for breaking the fourth wall. Actually, given that these two thieves broke a wall and have questionable morals, Deadpool was quite a fitting disguise for this caper.
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Kyle Munzenrieder