After Nile Crocs Appeared, Sharks and Gators Spent the Week Reminding Florida Who Is Actually Scariest

After Nile Crocs Appeared, Sharks and Gators Spent the Week Reminding Florida Who Is Actually Scariest (2)
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

A lot of weird things happen in Florida every week. On Friday, we're here to bring you the weirdest. This week: Gators strike back, a naked man stops traffic, and a disgruntled construction worker buries his boss in the dirt using a front-end loader.

After Nile Crocs Appeared, Sharks and Gators Spent the Week Reminding Florida Who Is Actually Scariest

Gators and Shark Strike Back
Late last month, biologists confirmed that invasive, human-killing Nile crocodiles unrelated to any held in captivity in Florida were found in the wild near Homestead. They wouldn't be the first dangerous invasive animal found in Florida, but perhaps the crocs' arrival was a bit too much for Florida's native predators. 

See, for centuries, the alligator and shark have reigned supreme as the much-feared sharp-toothed nightmares of Florida's swamps and seas. Apparently, the natural rulers of our swamps and seas banded together this week to protect their shared monopoly of Florida's nightmares. 

First, a massive gator, one that some believe could measure up to 15 feet long, was spotted strolling along the Buffalo Creek Golf Course in Palmetto. 

"I am large," the gator seemed to communicate with its confident stroll. "I am Florida's truest great beast. I am the one valid reptilian king of these lands."

"Yes, yes, you are," the internet responded in unison. "You are large, you are to be respected, and you are to be marveled at, you terrifying, leathery hunk of scales, teeth, and claws." 

The video of the great gator soon went viral, and perhaps the gator was pleased. It had made its point. 

But alligator-kind was not content for the week. 

Monday, in Southwest Ranches, authorities responded to calls that a group of gators was chomping on a dead human body. Police now say that the male body was likely dead and in the canal for a while before the gators found it. However, they have not put together the full picture of what happened. The case is being investigated as a homicide, and though the beasts may not have killed the man, they were all too eager to feed on his remains. 

Sharks, too, decided to make their presence known. On Memorial Day, a 12-year-old boy surfing on Cocoa Beach suffered a leg bite in an apparent shark attack. The incident follows other recent shark attacks in Florida, including two the previous week

Adding to the shark uprising is the fact that Catherine, a great white shark, is apparently back near our coast. The 2,300-pound monster's monitor pinged recently as it swam near Florida for the first time since 2015. 

After Nile Crocs Appeared, Sharks and Gators Spent the Week Reminding Florida Who Is Actually Scariest (4)

Man Named "Pork Chop" Buried His Boss in Dirt Using Front-End Loader 
Erick "Pork Chop" Cox had one job: to help build a Walmart in Volusia County. That is fine and necessary work. 

Wednesday morning, however, the construction worker decided his job was to bury his supervisor, Perry A. Byrd, in dirt. 

Cox and Bird apparently got into some sort of fight, which led to Cox getting into a front-end loader and dumping a pile of dirt atop Byrd. The first pile pinned Byrd to the ground, so Cox had time to drop another pile on top of him. Then Byrd allegedly got out of the vehicle and began beating Byrd with a six-foot metal level. 

When police arrived, Cox claimed he was the victim. He said that Byrd threatened him as soon as he showed up at work that morning and that he never meant to bury his boss in dirt. He swears! He told police it was all an accident because he "bumped the bucket control-lever as he was reaching for the keys." Cox was booked on aggravated battery. 

After Nile Crocs Appeared, Sharks and Gators Spent the Week Reminding Florida Who Is Actually Scariest (5)
via News4Jax

Naked Man Stops Traffic
Have you ever heard the pick-up line "You've got a body that could stop traffic?" 

Technically, though, if anyone got naked and ran into the middle of a highway, their body could stop traffic. 

The above incident happened in Jacksonville on Philips Highway at St. Augustine Road this past Tuesday night. The man, buck-naked, apparently found himself in the middle of the highway. Local media still isn't sure exactly what happened, but News4Jax reports that police officers eventually had to stun the man with a Taser. 


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