Though New York is known as the city that never sleeps, Miami gives the Big Apple a run for its money. Sure, we take siestas -- but when we rest, it's usually on the beach doing double duty as a tanning session. At night we play. And that means serious bouts with the munchies sometime after midnight. Sure, there's Denny's and Taco Bell, but there's also some damn fine grub to be had in Miami in those wee hours before the sun comes up. Chow down here.
See also: Miami's Ten Best Spots for Free Food
After a long day's journey into a beer stein leaves you hungry, pizza is a no-brainer. Trouble is that most late-night pizza is tasteless crap. (Saying there's no such thing as bad sex or bad pizza is a lie.) Steve's Pizza is highly coveted for its simply divine pies. Thin, crisp crust is slathered with slightly sweet and tangy tomato sauce before being covered with a blanket of molten mozzarella cheese. By the slice ($2.75) or the pie (an extra-large that feeds your posse starts at $15.75), this is the real deal. Plus, Steve's is open until 3 a.m. weekdays, 4 a.m. Friday and Saturday (closes midnight Sunday). Steve's would probably be rated numero uno but for the fact that it's in North Miami and a bit of a schlep to get to if you're clubbing in SoBe.
9. La Moon
If we could make the perfect drunk food, it would be La Moon's giant perro Colombianos ($4.95) and supermoon perros, topped with bacon and a quail egg ($5.99). Where else can you get a meal that's salty, fatty, and cheap in a place that's open until the birds start singing in the trees? La Moon is open till 6 a.m. every day but Sunday, when it closes at a respectable 1 a.m.
It's midnight and you want something that soothes the tummy and soul. That's the kimchee hot pot ($10.50). This steaming bowl of deliciousness is filled with sweet and spicy flavors guaranteed to prevent any hangover. When only fried food will do after a drinking binge, forget fast-food chicken nuggets and opt for tempura chicken, gizzards, or squid. Hiro's Yakko-San is open until 3 a.m. daily.
7. La Sandwicherie
It's 4 in the morning and you have a hankering for some pâté on French bread. Normally, you'd be out of luck until about noon, but not in Miami. La Sandwicherie has been catering to the cravings of discerning drunkards, students, hipsters, and in-the-biz workers for years with custom-made sandwiches until 5 a.m. daily. Sandwiches filled with pâté ($7.90), French salami ($7.90), smoked salmon ($7.60), or any other combination of meats and cheeses are made on buttery croissants or fresh French bread and satisfy your sleepless artistic soul. The South Beach location is open until 5 a.m. weekdays and 6 a.m. Friday and Saturday. The Brickell location is open until 2 a.m. weekdays and 6 a.m. Thursday through Saturday.
6. Tobacco Road
Where can you get slow-cooked brisket or ribs at 2 a.m. with a few shots of bourbon? None other than Tobacco Road, where you can also scarf down a "death" burger, wings, and salads till 3 a.m. Monday through Saturday (kitchen closes at midnight Sunday).
If you find yourself in central Miami in the middle of the night jonesing for some local gossip and coffee, look no further than Versailles. For 40 years, this restaurant has been catering to night birds of all ages who heed the siren song of a well-made Cuban sandwich ($6.95) and political chatter. It's open until 3:30 a.m. during the week, 4:30 a.m. Saturday, and 2:30 a.m. Sunday.
Where else but in Miami (or Vegas) can you get a side of showgirl to go with your burger or sushi? Call it what you will -- strip club, nightclub, restaurant with boobage -- but E11even is the place in downtown Miami where you can get dinner and a show 24/7. This entertainment complex has different dining options. Carla Pellegrino's Touché restaurant, located inside the complex, serves Italian cuisine and sushi from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. weekdays and 3 a.m. Friday and Saturday, while the main club serves a smaller menu of sushi, burgers, pizza, and snacks all day (and night) long. The kitchen never closes -- a perfect metaphor for Miami itself.
3. The Corner
The Corner just looks like a place you want to stumble into in the middle of the night -- it's a stone's throw from the clubs and stripper bars of downtown Miami, making it the perfect port in a storm. Open until 5 a.m. weekdays and 8 a.m. weekends, this is the place to soak up the night's booze with a plate of deviled eggs ($5), a dish of smoky weenies ($6), or the perfect BLT made with applewood-smoked bacon.
There's absolutely no doubt that tacos are the ultimate late-night food. They're small enough to have just one to tide you over after one too many cocktails, and varied enough for a gargantuan feast after an evening spent out with friends. Try the fried chicken tacos, slathered with ancho ranch dressing to soothe that oncoming hangover, or have a few breakfast tacos, because eggs and cheese cure everything. Have a hankering for a postparty snack but don't want to wake up with that "What in hell did I eat?" feeling the next day? A grilled fish or chicken taco is a guiltless indulgence. Tacos cost $3.49 to $3.99, so you'll still have cab fare home too. Huahua's is open until 4 a.m. Friday and Saturday and 11 p.m. Sunday through Thursday.
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It's a well-known fact that noodles are a favorite drunk food, so we basically thank our personal god for Gigi on a regular basis. Who doesn't love a steaming bowl of shrimp udon ($15) or some steak chow fun ($16) to sop up the poisons of our transgressions? It's a little like rehab in a bowl. Gigi is open Sunday and Monday until midnight, Tuesday through Wednesday until 3 a.m., and Friday and Saturday till 5 a.m.