It was only a matter of time before peak-Florida characters started to emerge amid the coronavirus crisis.
A lot is going on with this one: Videos recently posted on YouTube show Marlon Bolton, a pastor who's also the vice mayor of Tamarac, claiming his church predicted the COVID-19 pandemic weeks before Chinese authorities even identified the novel coronavirus strain.
"We prophesied," Bolton told as many as 20 congregants during a March 22 service at Praise Experience Church of North Lauderdale. "We prophesied about the stock market crashing. We even prophesied about the shortage of food in this season. Very accurate."
Other videos show Bolton, also known as "Prophet Fire," reprimanding the women of his congregation for not being satisfied with six-inch penises — but we'll come back to that. (Sun Sentinel reporter Brittany Wallman tweeted about the videos earlier today.)
THREAD:— Brittany Wallman (@BrittanyWallman) March 27, 2020
Tamarac elected official @marlonbolton preaches about penis size to women at his church, admonishes them for being unsatisfied with a husband "with a six inch who cannot satisfy." Adds that "I'm not talking about me, I am well endowed." https://t.co/PBwPPJDcbk
  Commissioner Bolton, aka Prophet Fire, says he prophesied Covid-19.https://t.co/eTXY41JCwe— Brittany Wallman (@BrittanyWallman) March 27, 2020
He also says he prophesied the death of Kobe Bryant. The clip of his sermons on genitalia size, etc., were posted by a tipster, who added written commentary/titles in the clips.
During the service, Bolton said God told him to direct congregants to make "seed donations" to help the church's finances during the pandemic.
"You can go 'Hallelujah' to Cash App," the pastor said.
Reached by phone yesterday afternoon, Bolton declined to comment.
Bolton asked church members to donate a minimum of $100 and as much as $317. The preacher said God showed him that seven plagues are "destined for our land."
"If you give seed offerings, I believe you'll be covered for these plagues," Bolton said.
He added that being cash-strapped is no excuse for not donating. Saying you don't have money when it's right there in your bank account is "the plan of the enemy to thwart the purpose of God" and prevent people from being successful, Bolton claimed.
In other videos, Bolton has pushed products, such as a "covenant lotion" made with olive oil and "the most expensive oils from Israel." The regular price for the products is $500, he told church members, but he offered it for a discounted $100.
"You tuck it in your purse, tuck it in your wallet," Bolton says, "and when that jezebel comes after you, you open it and anoint yourself."
Bolton also said God is angry at the world because people criticize their leaders, including President Donald Trump.
If you're still reading, it's probably because you want to know what this guy has to say about penises. During a March 15 livestreamed service that has since been deleted from Facebook, Bolton scolded women for not being satisfied with the size of their spouse's member.
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"You want a husband," he said, "but when God gives you a nice husband with a six-inch, you — hallelujah — cannot be satisfied."
The preacher said women have sought his advice about their relationships with men whose penises are too small.
"I'm not talking about me," Bolton said. "I am well endowed."
Evidently, size matters, even when you're a pastor leading a congregation through the uncertainty of a pandemic.