Politics

Five Predictions for Ben Carson's Upcoming Miami Visit

When Ben Carson was in Miami two years ago, he got stuck in an elevator at an Overtown housing complex. The Housing and Urban Development secretary had gone on a national "listening tour" of public housing developments weeks after his 2017 confirmation.

It seems Carson's subsequent trips to tour Miami-area affordable-housing complexes have gone off without any hitches, but it's only a matter of time before more high jinks ensue. The HUD secretary — whose greatest hits include calling Obamacare the worst thing to happen since slavery, saying the Holocaust wouldn't have been so bad if Jewish people in Nazi Germany had been armed, and likening transgender women to "big, hairy men" — returns to the Magic City today for the Real Deal's Miami Real Estate Showcase & Forum, where he'll speak for about 20 minutes.

What Carson will say about the city's infrastructure, affordable housing, and greatest threat to real estate — sea-level rise — is anybody's guess. As for the headlines we might see later today, there are endless possibilities. Here's a list of our most outrageous predictions:
Ben Carson Gets Superglued to Chair, Can’t Take Stage at Miami Real-Estate Event

A sticky situation for all involved.
Following Steep Budget Cuts to HUD, Carson Auctions Off Painting of Self With Jesus

Talk about idolatry.
Ben Carson Refuses to Return to Real World After Trying Virtual-Reality Goggles at Miami Real Estate Showcase

Trippy!
Ben Carson Says [Insert Something Terrible About a Marginalized Community] During Miami Visit

Come on — don't tell us you weren't expecting this one.
What Do Ben Carson and Miami-Area Cops Have in Common? Falling Asleep in Places They Shouldn't...

Ben Carson has written all about the times he has fallen asleep at the wheel. It happens, Ben, even to local cops on the job.
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Alexi C. Cardona is a staff writer at Miami New Times. A Hialeah native, she's happy to be back home writing about Miami's craziness after four years working for Naples Daily News.
Contact: Alexi C. Cardona