The Free Credit Report Band is Dead; Relive Its Top Five Most Annoying Commercials

You've groaned at the poor sap stuck working in a fish joint. You've cringed as he's serenaded a renaissance fair. You've run for the bathroom when he roped his friends in for a gleeful group chorus about bicycles. Hopefully, though, you didn't actually get snowed into signing up for the site for which the Free Credit Report guy shilled, which, of course, starts charging a recurring monthly service fee if you forget to cancel the "trial" you begin with that first free score.

It's been three years of this particular ad campaign's reign of terror, with its ultra-annoying, but still ultra-unforgettable cameos by a made-up band. Well, actually, the Free Credit Report guy is a 29-year-old Quebecois named Eric Violette, who, in his non-commercial life, is a classical music enthusiast who has mostly appeared in French-language short films and plays. He seems like a modest enough guy, judging by web-site-design alone, but boy, did we rejoice when we saw a late-night commercial for the same site, announcing his ouster.

The good/bad news? A new act will soon take his brain-torturing place -- and that act could be yours! Free Credit Report's parent company, Experian, is shifting its focus to credit scores, rather than reports, and to launch its new site,, it's looking for a new spokesband. Live band searches were already held in New York, Chicago, and L.A., but late last week, the company opened up the contest to everyone, via online submissions.

No, you don't get to write your own jingle. You have to learn one of their five new selections, and wow, are they just as annoying as the last! Sample title: "Jock-Strapped!" Sample lyric from said song: "Now he's jock-strapped for cash, all because he's got a credit score that looks like ... assssss-k me again!" Record yourself playing, upload it, and use all those usual social networking channels to try to garner votes.

Let's review just how you could end up, though. Here are the top five annoying Free Credit Report commercials.

5. "Rollercoaster"

This relatively late entry into the ad campaign starts out with a spoken slacker-white-boy rap, for which we can blame early-period Beck. It's not so bad, though, until that titular rollercoaster takes a dive, and the requisite chant-singing starts.

4. "Cell Phone"

Well, Metro PCS and Boost Mobile are updating their handset offerings....

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Arielle Castillo
Contact: Arielle Castillo

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