Justin Bieber's Sex Tape: An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

Justin Bieber is a fucking cock tease. Remember when we here at Crossfade totally called the impending leak of sexy-time pics and vids following the news of Justin Bieber's stolen laptop? Well, we were 100-percent right. But it's just gotten even more complicated and convoluted. Yesterday, after some alleged Bieber...

By Kat Bein

October 12, 2012

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Justin Bieber is a fucking cock tease.

Remember when we here at Crossfade totally called the impending leak of sexy-time pics and vids following the news of Justin Bieber's stolen laptop? Well, we were 100-percent right. But it's just gotten even more complicated and convoluted.

Yesterday, after some alleged Bieber dick flicks, a ruthless Twitter troll called @gexwy started a countdown to a XXX video release. Well, the #noon deadline has come and gone, and all we got was a new music clip with Nicki Minaj. We feel cheated.

See also:

-Justin Bieber Pukes on Stage!

-Justin Bieber's Fans Want To Breathe His Farts, Shower In His Vomit

-Justin Bieber's "Personal Footage" Stolen: Was the Biebz Hiding Secret Sex Tape?

It all started Wednesday when the heartthrob's laptop was reported stolen from his home in Los Angeles. News had yet to break about the sensitive pics and videos. But Crossfade can smell a sex scandal from a mile away.

And soon, the heat was turned up when pictures of the pop star with his dick in hand started making the rounds online. Of course, the Biebz and his camp denied the pictures were authentic, even if they are totally bringing sexy back.

Things continued to percolate when a new Twitter account registered as @gexwy started spewing threats at the Biebster, laying it out that #noon today, he would drop a video that would forever change the way Beliebers would feel about their hero.

@gexwy no matter what you have and what you post tomorrow i know my fans wont leave me. screw it. #toostrong
-- Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) October 11, 2012

While Bieber fans furiously masturbated in anticipation, the countdown ticked away to fruition. And the result? Nothing but a bogus commercialized amp-up for a kind of decent music video for "Beauty and the Beat" featuring Nicki Minaj, totally filmed and presented as "stolen footage" from that laptop. Yeah, it was all a viral marketing scam.

Now it's like ... Fuck you, Justin Bieber. Fuck you, @gexwy. Fuck you, Nicki Minaj. We wanted to see Bieber balls deep in Selena Gomez or something. Instead, we get a bunch of synchronized dancing and a water-proof handicam.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.

Follow:

Twitter: @KatSaysKill