Everybody hates Monday. But the sound of the alarm in the early a.m. at the start of the work week is particularly brutal. Like, medieval.
Crossfade would even go as far to wager that the hobbies and habits that constitutes one's stress-relievers and vices (everything from healthy options like kombucha and tennis, to more immediate options like amphetamines and basement orgies) come from a need to deal with Monday fucking morning.
In need of a lil' start-of-the-week relief yourself? Might we suggest a little Dinosaur Jr. face-metling?
If you're anything like us, you've managed to get through the workday by periodically sneaking off to the bathroom and staring at your ticket for tonight's Dinosaur Jr. show. And wouldn't ya know, there's no sugar that helps the medicine go down like a J. Mascis guitar solo.
So here are five certified face-melters we hope he whips out tonight so we can pretend this Monday shit never happened.
The Song: "The Wagon"
The Album: Green Mind (1991)
The Solo: 1:31 - 2:04
Shredability: J. Mascis can not only pump out breezy, super fuzzed-out 90s slacker anthem like it aint no thing, but he also somehow manages to include these seemingly effortless solos that pop out of nowhere, sear our eyebrows, and make us doubt he's actually as stoned as everybody says he is. Or maybe that's the key: you've gotta be high as kite to come up with this stuff.
The Song: "Sludgefest"
The Album: You're Living All Over Me (1987)
The Solo: 3:55 - 5:18
Shredability: The opening song from Dinosaur Jr.'s mainstream crossover album (and last to feature the original lineup until the band's reunion in the mid-2000s) definitely lives up to it's name. Hardcore punk, 80s arena rock and thrash are all invoked over the course of the track's rolling-boil tension, which, during the final minutes, bubbles over into a speed-metal non-sequitor finale that sounds like the start of another song entirely, and/or the newest Slayer single.
The Song: "Mountain Man"
The Album: Dinosaur Jr. (1985)
The Solo: 2:37 - 3:30
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Shredability: Speaking of sludge, tension, and speed, this cut from the band's first, self-titled record is one of the rawest displays of Dino fusing the most bombastic elements of almost every hard rock variant. Whoda thunk punk rock would find renewed relevancy by embracing the traditions (for example, musicianship) it originally set out to destroy?
The Song: "Alone"
The Album: Hand It Over (1997)
The Solo: 6:18 - 8:04
Shredability: Judging from song titles, it seems like after alienating his original bandmates and then pissing off two or three band's worth of scabs and session players, J Mascis was getting tired of being a one-man Dinosaur Jr. Somewhere between the emotive theatricality of "November Rain" and the sweaty, churning punch to the pineal gland of noisy psychedelia, the slow-burning, 8-minute power bummer ballad, "Alone," is a particularly cathartic statement from a band that was already indie-rock's most bombastically sentimental.
The Song: "Get Me"
The Album: Where You Been (1993)
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The Solo: 4:04 - 5:51
Shredability: There is little doubt that Dinosaur Jr. was, is and always will be the hardest shredding band in indie rock. And we can say, with equal certainty, that the seemingly endless supply of licks, riffs and sub-hooks that J. Mascis tears out of his guitar on "Get Me" may very well be his finest, face-melting solo.
Dinosaur Jr. with Yuck. Monday, January 23. Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami. The show starts at 8 p.m. and tickets cost $30 at the door. All ages. Call 305-377-2277 or visit grandcentralmiami.com.