For maybe the best moment of the entire season, we started Real Housewives of Miami with a sleepover with Marysol Patton and Mama Elsa. In a very Martha Stewart moment, Elsa decided to make some coffee. No, not with the use of a pot or a kettle. With her, all it takes is 12 seconds in the microwave. Nothing compares to Mrs. Patton. Mother's Day was created for her and her alone.
After some delicious morning beverages, it was time to head off to Bimini Bay, Bahamas. In true Real Housewives style, there was nothing but pure drama. It all began with a private jet ride fit for Bravolebrities. Champagne was flowing, their hundreds of bags were being stowed away, and then, it was time to board.
"Passports, everyone?" asks the pilot. Well, Adriana decided she didn't need one; the pilot decided she did. Obviously, things were getting off on the right foot.
Upon arrival, the gals check into a very big house, with very little beds. Hey, this vacation was free - you take what you get. Within a couple of hours, here comes Adriana from her commercial flight from Miami. The tragic truth: She had to take a plane with us commoners. Where do we send flowers? Poor people are the worst!
For night one at their beautiful resort, a oceanside dinner seemed appropriate. Not before Alexia decided to bring some pictures of Karent's boo, Rodolfo, making out with another girl. Lets call this Cheatinggate 2012. She did mention on Watch What Happens Live a few weeks back that she and Rodolfo are over. Yeah, cheating with a 20-something really is damaging to a relationship.
These ladies are not what you'd call voracious readers, so who knew a piece of writing could cause so much drama in Karent's life? The slap heard round the world was all caused by a Miami Herald article. Now, the demise of her relationship and probably her life, all due to a little piece of journalism from the Internet. And because this is Bravo, all of the gossip was brought up not in private or even over a drink. The ladies (aka Adriana) decided this was a problem the whole group needed discuss. The whole group and cable-watching America, of course.
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Really, here is our best attempt at a play-by-play: Alexia tells her the dirt. Karent denies. Alexia gives more proof. Karent compares this to the National Enquirer and Elvis Presley. Alexia informs her there are photos. Karent decides it was time for the conversation to be over. Shocker.
So will she see the pictures or won't she? Well, we shall see. Next week, these bitches seem to not being enjoying the Bahamas. Instead, they're using their time to have even more fights over a meal. Oh, and Karent finally stops smiling. We knew it would happen one day!