Six Reasons Miami Needs an Ultimate Taser Ball League

Prepare to be shocked.

No, seriously. If you're interested in playing Ultimate Taser Ball -- and you should be, because according to its website, it's "the future of sport" -- you literally need to be ready to be electrocuted at any time.

When we discovered a promo video for taser ball yesterday, we couldn't believe our eyes. Not because dudes were stupid enough to introduce tasers into their backyard pick-up games -- we already knew a lot of dudes are stupid. We just couldn't believe the game hadn't made it to South Florida yet. This is, after all, the capital of bizarre, idiotic antics. How was Miami not the birthplace of UTB, let alone one of its franchising cities?

Clearly, we need to rectify the situation. Miami is the perfect taser ball town. So read on, masochistic athletes, and be inspired.

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Ciara LaVelle is New Times' former arts and culture editor. She earned her BS in journalism at Boston University and moved to Florida in 2004. She joined New Times' staff in 2011.
Contact: Ciara LaVelle