Yeah, we're hollering at you, because you're a hot Latina lady and we think you should be on our television screens.
Miami is known for many things, but as Jack Donaghy eloquently puts it, we're mostly known for our looks and culture: "Why does anyone go to Miami? Ass...and the burgeoning art scene."
Today, those two Miami pinnacles will come together: The Grove (AKAMiami's original arts hub) is hosting an open casting call for a new dating show (AKA the ass).
See also: Ten More Rainy Day Activities in Miami
The pitch goes a little something like this:
Single ladies, do you want to be a star? Are you looking for Mr. Right? Las Tias is hosting an #open #casting call for a brand new dating show, which will air on a major Latin Network. They're looking for #single, #Spanish speaking #ladies 21-33 years old. No acting skills needed. Drop by Las Tias this Friday from 11-6pm.
You hear that? This mysterious "major Latin Network" isn't looking for the next Penelope Cruz or Selma Hayek; it sounds more like they want a Sofia Vergara type - loud, minimal to no acting skills, and perfectly curvy.
The only other requirements to audition are: you must be "sexy, spicy, and single," a lady, and fluent in the language of love (we mean Spanish, obviously).
Miami can certainly deliver ladies with these qualifications.
With the sustained popularity of reality dating shows (can you believe they're still making The Bachelorette?), it seems like this Latin network wants to break into this niche market and spice it up. Here's hoping they at least shoot the series locally and provide a necessary boom to Miami's film scene.
Cultist called Las Tias to try and get the low-down on the casting, but they couldn't share any additional information. You'll just have to head over to the store and check it out for yourself, whether you're a lady genuinely looking for love, or a fella looking to be a shoulder to cry on for those ladies who didn't make the cut.
Casting runs from 11 a.m. until 6 p.m. at Las Tias consignment store in Coconut Grove. Visit facebook.com/lastiasmiami.
Send your story tips to Cultist at firstname.lastname@example.org.