Basketball Wives Episode Nine: Jennifer Williams Gets Popped

Keep New Times Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Oh, what an evening of Basketball Wives. Boys, booze, and bitch-fights. What else could you ask for?

Last night, we met Royce Reed's boyfriend, Dezmon Briscoe, who plays football for Tampa Bay. Well, hello Dezmon. Aren't you one tasty piece of chocolate? Um, anyway. 

Royce hasn't been that exciting this season, but if that is because she has been home with Mr. Briscoe, we get it, girl. But why is it that every season, for every new man she brings on the show, she has to wear lingerie in some way? Begging for camera time, anyone?

As you'll remember, we love Tami Roman. But was she trying to be ironically hip with that  Project Girl shirt and snacking on sunflower seeds like redneck in the back of a turnip truck? Her midday snack did not hold her back from talking shit with Shaunie O'Neal while walking the pier, and thank God for that. God probably also loved her Tebowing in his name.

Apparently Basketball Wives is all about product placement these days. Did you notice that friendly free screening of the new movie Think Like A Man? We have a DVR, so we're used to skipping the commercials. But we can't do that if they're embedded in our trashy TV shows. Goddammit.

God, we love when Al Reynolds makes a cameo. No girl is complete without a fabulous gay in her life, and Al is Jennifer's main homo squeeze. That's right -- we just outed Mr. Reynolds, but really, did we need to? That casual knit and shades he was rocking did the job for him.

As we mentioned last week, the Wives took a trip to Gulfstream Park, having vowed to play nice while they're there. We imagine this is like going to the buffet when you're on a diet. You tell yourself, "Self, I will only be hitting the salad bar." And 12 plates of steak sirloin and cake later, you can no longer button your jeans. Screw the good intentions; there's no way Jennifer and Evelyn are not going to kick off World War III.

We don't know about you, but we see place for Nia as a regular character in season five of Wives. She's funny, willing to throw down, and is cool with having cocktails on or around noon. No wonder she fits in with the ladies. Most of the ladies, that is. If you aren't caught up, Nia is Evelyn's assistant, and used to be good friends with Jennifer. Then, Miss Williams decided to go and find a more A-list group of friends. This pissed Nia off beyond belief. Yesterday, we got to see them all at Gulfstream Park together for the first time since they had stopped speaking. 

There they are at a private suite lunching before the races. Immediately, a letter of some sort is brought up that Jennifer's lawyer had sent to all the ladies. So now, not only Nia & Evelyn, but all the girls aren't super psyched toward Jenn or her snail mail way of communicating. And just as a few of the ladies seem to have resolved that issue, here comes Nia, who asks Jennifer in a oh-so-bitchy manner, "Sooo, what's your shit with me?" 

A few words are exchanged, until Nia realizes what Jennifer really needs is a good pop in the mouth. So, that is exactly what she gives her. And because Vh1 knows how to give us reality show blue balls, we have to wait till next week to see Evelyn also pop Jennifer in the face. Oh Basketball Wives, you are truly a cruel temptress.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.