If there's anyone you're indebted to (besides Sallie Mae), it's the woman who brought you into this world - the naked, gasping, screaming little seven-pound thing you once were. And birthing was the easy part. After that came the terrible twos, the schoolyard fights, puberty.
Mother's Day is payback time. Instead of scoring her some cheesy flowers or a musical Hallmark card, surprise her with a thoughtful, locally-made edible goodie. We've rounded up a selection of products from local purveyors - one of which is sure to make your mom happy she endured pregnancy-induced heartburn and 3 a.m. karate kicks for nine months to give you life.
10. Om Nom Nom's mix-and-match cookie six-pack ($18) is an ideal option for moms with a serious sweet tooth. We suggest at least a couple of their Spicy Mexican Snickerdoodles, an Orange Zested Chocolate Chip or two and def some Chocolate Chips. They're vegan, they're delicious - and they're baked with lots of love.
9. If mom's a meat lover, Proper Sausages is your best bet. Scoop up The Prune & Cognacs (Berkshire pork, applewood smoked pork, cognac and prunes), The Fig & Blue Cheese (Berkshire pork, figs, blue cheese and balsamic vinegar) and The Whiskey Cherry Venison (New Zealand Venison, Berkshire pork, whiskey and dried cherries). These aren't your grandma's sausages ... but they can be your mom's.
8. Copperpot's is Miami's master of the jam. Get your loving madre some smooth Bourbon Apple Butter, some addictive, Sweet & Spicy jalapeno spread or their newly minted, slight-sweet Sriracha. There are all kinds of options, and she can use the concoctions to whip you up all kinds of Sunday night dinners, too.
7. Donuts might not seem like a standard mother's day gift, but trust us, the woman who gave you life will be stoked to see a box of Mojo Donuts on Sunday morning. Pick up a dozen in flavors like piña colada, dulce de leche, key lime and red velvet heaven.
6. Many a mother has been buoyed up during tough times by the saving grace known as caffeine. So show your mom you care by gifting her with a gift card to Wynwood's Panther Coffee -- or if she's into home brewing, score her a pound of their creamy, chocolatey East Coast Espresso ($19).
5. Like most earth-bound humans, your mom is probably a fan of all-things-chocolate. Buy her a box of 12 Cao Chocolates ($21.40) -- rich truffles made with Venezuelan cacao - and she'll be over the moon with endorphins. The truffles come in a whole host of flavors, from the Sea of Love (milk chocolate ganache with chocolate sprinkles and sea salt) to the Big Daddy (dark chocolate ganache coated with dark and white chocolate nibs and a touch of cayenne pepper).
4. Moms dig wine. How else do you think she got through your terrible twos? So snatch up some avocado and coconut-blended Cat 2 Hurricane White ($14.95) or some sweet, exotic Lychee wine ($29.95) from Homestead's fruity, tropical booze purveyors, Schnebly Redland's Winery. Whatever fruity blend you choose, Mom's sure to dig it.
3. If your mom's got a bit of hippie in her (or ever did, ha) - Glaser Organic Farms is a great bet for locally grown, healthy, vegan eats. Snap up some organic bell pepper hummus ($5.75), macadamia butter ($14.90) or tasty little tropical "rawies" ($6) (bananas, pineapple, papaya, strawberry, rolled oats, raspberries, kiwi, dates, almonds and coconut). Besides, you want to extend her lifespan as much as possible. She'd make a kickass great-great-great grandma.
2. The only thing better than a jar full of crisp, delicious Vlasic pickles are the homemade kind. Doctor Pickle is your man. Try some organic, small-batch New York ½ Sours or Sweet & Spicy chips. Undoubtedly, they'll harken mom back to the days of pickles, ice cream and out-of-whack hormones.
1. Good cheesecakes, like good mothering skills, aren't always easy to come by. Luckily, the Cheesecake Gallery has these creamy delights down. Try a Signature Soconut, a Banana Wonder or a One of a Kind Guava ($20 for a medium). Screw the Cheesecake Factory, doesn't your mom deserve the real deal?
Follow Hannah on Twitter @hannahalexs.
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