Miami Monkey opened this past Sunday, bringing a whole lot of pink lipstick and sweet, sweet cocktails to South Beach.
It's the Miami outpost of the Drunken Monkey, a Staten Island bar owned by Angela "Big Ang" Raiola. The primate-themed pub features karaoke, Tuesgays (self-explanatory), and cocktails, but most people come for the main draw, Big Ang, a women with a personality as substantial as her bra size (both quite formidable).
The Miami Monkey is on the second floor of the Netherland on Ocean Drive, which means it's nearly invisible to the thousands of people who flock the area in search of an après-beach cocktail. To make up for that, girls in black bikini tops and Bettie Page-type bottoms walk the beach, "tagging" people with stickers. Trade in the sticker for a free shot at the bar.
You're going to want that free drink, because the prices are strictly South Beach. Standard libations like Stoli and soda and rum runners range in the $10-15 area (with tax and 18% tip included in the bill), and there's a two-for-one happy hour daily from 4 to 9 p.m.
We ordered a signature mango monkey martini. The frozen concoction was sweet, frothy, and twenty bucks (though it was presented in one of those insanely large glasses you only seem to find in beach towns).
A DJ spins tunes ranging from classic disco to hip-hop, but the main draws at Miami Monkey are the drinks... and the bodies.