Yes, Joslyn James is Tiger Woods' former mistress and a porn star, known for such stiffening cinematic feats as Men in Uniform Love Big Tits and Cougars, Kittens & Cock. That's why she'll be appearing at the Exxxotica expo all weekend.
But Ms. James is also an athlete. And this Sunday night, will be refereeing an intense evening of "ping-porn" and lube wrestling at Chalk Ping-Pong & Billiards Lounge in Miami Beach.
Crossfade spoke with James about the hidden dangers of lube wrestling and what to expect from the event.
What is the difference between ping-pong and ping-porn?
Honestly, I don't know.
Well, then how qualified are you to be a referee?
I've been playing ping-pong since I was a child.
In that case, you must have some tips for winning?
It's kind of like poker. You have to psyche out your opponent. But a real woman doesn't give away her secrets.
The best basketball players are tall. The best swimmers have broad shoulders. What are the bodies of the best ping-pong players like?
I don't think there is one best body type for ping-pong. It's all about how you work your hands. Kind of like porn.
Have you ever lube wrestled?
I've done it many times before. But I call it "Playing Seals" because you slide around like seals. I've done quite well.
What is your current record for wins and losses?
I've only been booted out the bed one times. The way I play, we put a tarp on the bed and you slide around until you're booted out of the bed.
What safety tips would you offer to the lube wrestlers?
Know your lube and hope you aren't allergic. Me, I'm allergic to the warming and flavored kinds.
What happens when you have a reaction?
I don't want to go there. It's not a good scene.
Does lube wrestling get weird? Are there strange noises?
That's what makes it fun, the noises.
Will you have a whistle? Or will you just yell at people?
I'll have a full referee outfit. So I'm sure there will be a whistle.
What happens if the wrestlers get the lube in their mouth?
You get lube everywhere. Sometimes you have to stop and spit stuff out or wipe your eye. But you keep going.
Exxxotica is a long weekend. How do you get through it?
I've been doing it for several years. You rest at night. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. And sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!
Joslyn James will be at the Chalk Miami booth at Exxxotica Miami Beach 2012 from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. on Friday, 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. on Saturday, and 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. on Sunday. Miami Beach Convention Center, 1901 Convention Center Dr., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $32 to $149. Call 267-909-9760 or visit exxxoticaexpo.com.
Happy Ending Ping-Porn Tournament and Lube Wrestling With Joslyn James. Sunday, May 20. Chalk Ping-Pong & Billiards Lounge, 1234 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. The party starts at 7 p.m. and admission is free. Ages 21 and up. Call 305-532-8662 or visit chalkmiami.com.
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