WTF Florida: Dog Wins $3 Million in Florida Lottery

A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here to give you the week's weirdest.

Man Gifted His Dog $3 Million Lottery Tickets

New Times is very firmly in the camp that believes your pets deserve some sort of gift for the holidays. But, you know, something like a bone that keeps them busy and wears them out for the rest of the night. Not human things.

Well, Bill Kelly of Ocoee enjoys getting his dog Christmas gifts too. He also really enjoys buying lottery tickets as gifts. Naturally, he decided to buy his dog a lottery ticket, and distributed it along with the tickets for the rest of the family in the dog's stocking. As it turns out the Gold Rush scratch-off ticket turned out to be a $3 million winner. Kelly cashed the prize himself, but we hope he bought a day at the dog spa for the real recipient.

School District Planned to Hand Out Bibles, Until Satanists Got Involved

Apparently someone had dubbed last Friday "Religious Freedom Day," and the Orange County School District decided to celebrate by allowing a Christian group to distribute Bibles on school grounds to interested students.

However, Florida's favorite troll religion, the Satanic Temple, decided to get involved. They wanted to distribute Satanist theme coloring books, because, hey, it's Religious Freedom Day, and Satanism is a religion. Meanwhile, the Freedom From Religion Foundation also wanted to hand out a pamphlet that declared the Bible X-rated. Orange County had previously allowed Atheist material to be passed out during the day too, but apparently the Satanists were a step too far, so they just decided to cancel the whole thing.

Little Old Lady Goes Wrong Way on Sunshine Skyway Bridge

Sure, the MacArthur Causeway has all those pretty neon lights, but Tampa Bay's Sunshine Skyway Bridge is definitely Florida's most iconic -- and scariest to drive over -- bridge.

Another iconic Florida feature: old people who can't drive.

These two symbols of the state collided last week, but thankfully a full-on tragedy was avoided.

Carolyn Y. Pace, 80, was taking a drive in her 2007 Cadilac SUV at about 9 p.m. on Friday when she somehow wound up heading in the wrong way for three miles near the bridge. Florida Highway Patrol troopers tried their best to get her to stop, but Pace took her time before pulling over into the medium. Thankfully no injuries or crashed were reported. Pace was latter taken to the hospital for an unspecified medical condition.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Kyle Munzenrieder