| Traffic |

World's Largest Egos Will Jam Downtown Traffic Tonight

One of two things will happen in downtown Miami tonight.

One: Donald Trump, who will lead an impromptu 6 p.m. rally at the James L. Knight Center, and Kanye West, who will host his first of two Saint Pablo Tour shows at the American Airlines Arena at 8 p.m., will snarl traffic for a few hours while respective fans flood Biscayne Boulevard.

Two: The black holes that are Trump's and West's egos will instead merge, tear a hole in the fabric of reality, and suck Miami into a netherworld where Kanye runs Belarus and Trump designs shoes for Christian Louboutin.

Let's hope for the former result.

Yes, both West and Trump, likely the humans with the two largest egos in the world, will host events within a mile of each other tonight. Though neither of West's two consecutive Miami concerts appears to have sold out, both shows are nevertheless set to bring tens of thousands of people to Miami's largest indoor arena Friday and Saturday nights.

West's shows were announced months ago, but Trump — not a man to be outdone — announced earlier this week that he too will host his own pseudo-concert in Miami tonight. Trump needs to win Florida to secure the presidential nomination, and as national and state polls have tightened this month, Trump appears hell-bent on flooding Florida voters with images of his face. He will reportedly speak to a group of "skeptical" Haitian-American immigrants before the rally.

The last time Trump held a South Florida rally, a group of heroic teenage protesters was kicked out of Sunrise's BB&T Center for shouting, "Dicks out for Harambe!"

But as anyone who's ever visited Atlantic City, New Jersey, knows, Trump isn't exactly a man concerned with city planning. He and his camp seem unworried about the fact that West will host a packed show nearby.
At least both venues are situated just north of the Brickell Bridge, which happens to connect to one of the most perennially jammed intersections in all of Miami.

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