You might find yourself five steps inside your neighborhood grocery store before cartoonishly freezing in place, saying "Ah, shit," and running back to your car, avoiding eye contact with the people glaring at you for having (earnestly!) forgotten to grab a face covering. Maybe you debate telling the person standing too close to you in line to please, kindly, not sneeze in public with their facemask in full chinstrap mode.
Or, if you're anything like the person recording inside a FedEx in Coral Gables this week, you might just laugh in disbelief when That Fucking Guy refuses to wear a mask at all.
Miami-based documentary filmmaker Billy Corben tweeted a video yesterday afternoon of a man being approached by an employee at the FedEx store on Ponce de Leon Boulevard. The video doesn't show the full exchange between the man and the employee, but one can assume it has something to do with the fact that the guy isn't wearing a mask, which is both a store policy and a county mandate. The man goes off on a customer who's recording him and says "fuck" more times than one might utter during rush hour on I-95.
According to a FedEx spokesperson, the incident occurred on Tuesday.
Miami man un tremendo comemierda really doesn't wanna wear his mask at @FedExOffice in Coral Gables on Ponce de Leon Blvd (WARNING: esuper vulgar language, bro) #BecauseMiami pic.twitter.com/K7L8YTAJSJ— Billy Corben (@BillyCorben) August 5, 2020
"This conversation started between two customers," the spokesperson said in a statement to New Times. "We strongly encourage all customers to wear masks while in our stores to help prevent the spread of the virus and provide a safe environment for our customers and team members. However, if there is a situation where a customer refuses to wear a mask, we will do our best to serve the customer in a manner that is as safe as possible for both our team members and other customers."
It's not clear if the man was denied service or asked to leave the store.
The man, who was wearing a bike helmet and sunglasses and accompanied by his bike, was there to drop off a package.
The employee asked the man, "You see people taking pictures?" And in true Miami fashion, the profanity-filled tirade began there.
"I don't give a fuck about this fucking nerd Karen comepinga," Bicycle Guy said. "You're a fuckin' little Kevin-ass nigga's what you are. I don't give a fuck about this nerd behind me."
The customer recording asked, "Is he gonna leave?"
Bicycle Guy was not going to leave.
"Listen, fuck you," he told the customer recording. "Fuck you, dude. Fucking little socialist fuckface." (Skip to the 26-second mark to see what Bicycle Guy has to say about the other customer's mom.)
After a few seconds of silence, the customer behind the camera said, "I feel sorry for you, man." That got him the middle finger.
"You're doing your part, aren't you, right? You're saving America?" Bicycle Guy said. "Fucking idiot."
In COVID times, the mask dispute is the new bar fight. In May, a man went off on a Miami Beach code-enforcement officer for telling him he couldn't enter a Publix unless he wore a mask. Last month, a man shopping at a Palm Beach County Walmart pulled a gun and threatened to kill a customer who suggested he wear a mask, the Palm Beach Post reported. According to Kaiser Health News, disagreements over facemasks and social distancing have turned violent, and even deadly, across the U.S.