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| Sports |

Dolphins Made Tom Brady Cry With Epic Week-One Comeback Win

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Yes, Fins fans. That really happened. Sunday was not a weird acid flashback to your Dan Marino druggie glory days. The Dolphins scored 33 points, the Patriots scored only 20, and Tom Brady even got a little weepy on the bench at the end.

See also: Photos from the Patriots vs. Dolphins game at Sun Life Stadium

Fins running back Knowshon Moreno drowned the New England Patriots in his beautiful badassery as the Dolphins overcame a poor start in the first half to rack up 23 unanswered points on the way to a signature win to kick off the season. Yes, the man known for his own Iguazu Falls-like tears during the National Anthem, a man who came into Dolphins camp overweight, put the team on his back, and racked up 134 yards and one touchdown on 24 carries. The dude was one BAD MUDDA.

Moreno also had some help in the second half from Cameron Wake -- THE KRAKEN HIMSELF -- who was just an absolute rabid, quarterback-feasting Cujo on defense in a way that will no doubt result in several sleepless nights consisting of haunting nightmares of a slobbering, angry Hell-beast wearing a number 91 jersey coming right for Tom Brady and his annoyingly beautiful family.

VICTORY MONDAY!!! Never leave us again, football.

The Dolphins return to action Sunday at 1 p.m. on the road against the Buffalo Bills.

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